(Centre) Miss Universe 2014 Paulina Vega removes the crown from Miss Colombia 2015, Ariadna Gutierrez in order to give it to Miss Philippines 2015, Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach —AP
Etiquette experts tell us that it is important to move on from an embarrassing incident to make sure it doesn’t end up stifling your personal growth. Host Steve Harvey made headlines earlier this week when he mistakenly named the wrong winner during the live broadcast of the Miss Universe contest. Steve named Miss Colombia Ariadna Gutierrez the winner when she was in fact first runner-up. The comedian later issued an apology, and the crown was conferred on Miss Philippines, Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach.
While you may not have made a gaffe in a large public setting as this, embarrassing moments in public can be debilitating and uncomfortable. Experts and life coaches tell us how to make sure that one moment doesn’t end up stifling your confidence and personal growth.
It’s not too late to apologise Etiquette expert Sheena Agarwal says that the right apology can control the embarrassment of a faux pas to a large extent. She says, “It’s human to make mistakes. At times, landing yourself into an embarrassing situation might not be something you would have accounted for. Accepting the error publicly is what sets one apart. Be gracious and apologise for the error. Don’t get into explaining in detail why it happened or come up with any other excuses. Accepting the fact that an error occurred is the best way to deal with it.”
Forgive yourself The hurtful experience may cause one humiliation even after the moment is long forgotten by the attendees. Life coach Milind Jadhav says that while it is normal to beat oneself up for an error, apologising to oneself is the only way to become empowered. He says, “It is important to stay resilient. It is important to forgive yourself for the mistake. Nobody is perfect. It is critical to let go of the immediate wave of guilt one will be filled with — no good comes out of guilt. These negative memories could stop individuals from giving their best in future tasks.”
Learn from the experience Singer-songwriter Alisha Pais reveals that there have been times when she blanked out during a performance but she doesn’t let it affect it. She says, “There have been times when I have forgotten the lyrics. I keep strumming my guitar and the audience even cheers me on. I never let that moment affect the whole performance. Even the audience are forgiving; they never make a fuss about it.” Life coach Khyati Birla explains that letting go of the embarrassment is the best way to go forward. She says, “We are humans after all and can’t avoid errors. A mistake must be used as a stepping-stone instead of living with the guilt and embarrassment. Doing away with a lackadaisical approach and being diligent will go a long way towards doing away with unnecessary mistakes. Go through the entire routine from start to finish — even if you have been doing the said task through the years. Be an adult about it and encourage yourself to learn from the mistakes.”
A few steps that you could take prior to the event: On a public platform, if you are in-charge of making important announcements, it is vital to be focused and aware. The chaos can be maddening and one tends to be a bit more impulsive in such situations. Going through a quick scan of the announcement sheet or cue cards, gives the confidence of the correct announcements. Before you go on to make an important announcement, taking a few seconds to recheck the data or information could help. It is good to follow meditative methods for being in the moment instead of being swayed by the crowd’s anxiety and fervor. Inputs by etiquette consultant Chetna Mehrotra
