Being fortune’s favoured child

I am fortune’s favoured child.

Many have vied to be in my place.

Many have sought to be at my level.

Many desire to have the freedom that I am already blessed with.

Many have come, lived and gone.

But only a few have been as fortunate as I, for fortune favours only the blessed ones.

I am so fortunate to live in a land where there is no patriarchy or misogyny.

I know this is true for that is what is constantly told to me.

And if something is constantly being told to you, then it has to be true.

I am so fortunate because I live in a land where men and women are considered as equals.

But of course, the men are more equal than the women.

I am so fortunate because I live in a land where the men know what is best for me. For I am entitled to their opinion and I have been shown my place. I must know my place. I am thankful for my designated place.

I am fortunate to be aware of the order of nature which must never be disrupted. I must not violate the norms. The morally and socially superior deserve to be respected. I must uphold the sanctity of the red pill and what it stands for. Woe to the troublemakers who try to disrupt this honourable balance.

I am fortunate because everytime I step out of line and try to talk about alien subjects such as “rights”, there is always a thoughtful authority to kindly advice me and make me understand that my life is so much better than that of the women in that far off land who are being stoned to death, so I thank the thoughtful authority for not stoning me to death and together we pity the women who are being stoned to death.

I am fortunate because I am accepted even though I bleed. Blood is dirty, blood is disgusting, I am impure when I bleed. I contaminate those around me. Yet when I become pure again I am given the honour to sit amongst the others. I must always be thankful.

For if I were not thankful I would not be able to carry out my duties for the greater good. I must bleed, even if it is a small hindrance for through this impurity comes life. It is my duty to pave way for life. A duty of the utmost honour. If I am unable to uphold this honour, may shame be upon me. Woe to the witches and the barren, for rejecting the words of the wise and choosing the unruly road of destruction. May shame always be upon them.

I am so fortunate because the men are always looking out for me in whatever capacity they can, even when they are unknown to me. When they stare at my chest in public, it is their way of gently reminding me that I have forgotten to wear a scarf. And scarves are important because they keep you warm so you don’t catch a cold. I must never catch a cold as it causes a hindrance to those around me and hence is a disservice to those around me.

I am fortunate to get talked over whenever I try to share any opinion. To have my sentences cut off midway through an attempted conversation because I have very fragile vocal cords and need to be silenced every now and then. Silence is good for me. Silence is golden.

I am thankful for being taught that no does not mean no. I must never use the word “no”, but even if I ever should, it is because I actually mean “yes”. I must only say no and mean it when I have been instructed to do so by the superiors.

I am thankful for the way I get disciplined, even by those who are complete strangers to me. When they give me a rape threat, it is not a real threat. It is just a way to discipline me when I have crossed the line. And I should have known better. I must never cross the line.

I have been trained to never cross the line.

And should I ever face the consequences for crossing the line, I must never complain for it was all done to teach me a lesson.

And lessons are good.

Lessons are fair.

I am the fairer sex.

I am the weaker sex.

I am the degenerate sex.

I am obsolete.

Merenla Imsong is an actor and comedian who recently had to migrate from Facebook to Twitter because her family wasn’t very appreciative of her inappropriate jokes. She lives in Bombay with her flatmate and 42 plants.