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  Love in the time of social media

Love in the time of social media

AGE CORRESPONDENT
Published : Aug 18, 2016, 10:04 pm IST
Updated : Aug 18, 2016, 10:04 pm IST

Breakups can be tricky in times of social media when erasing the digital traces of one’s relationship is next to impossible

Breakups can be agonising, if undetected it could harm one’s mental health. (Photo: Pixabay)
 Breakups can be agonising, if undetected it could harm one’s mental health. (Photo: Pixabay)

Breakups can be tricky in times of social media when erasing the digital traces of one’s relationship is next to impossible

It was an instance of every couple’s worst nightmare — a war of words on social media. Exes Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez indulged in a comment war about Justin’s girlfriend on social media, and it didn’t end well.

Initially, Justin threatened to go private on Instagram after he received negative comments about his rumoured girlfriend Sofia Richie. In a twist, Selena, too commented on the post, criticising Justin about his threat to quit Instagram over his new flame. The face-off intensified as she even accused him of cheating on her. Even though Selena took a step back and apologised for her response, it was a little too late as he had already deleted his Instagram account by then. Social media makes it hard, and in some cases near impossible to erase the digital traces of one’s relationship.

When chartered accountant, Naina Sampath broke up with her boyfriend of four years, it took her at least a year to get out of the relationship, thanks to social media. She says, “We ended the relationship on a good note but it was extremely difficult to move on since I kept tracking him on social media. I was affected even when he made attempts to move on. I decided to put myself first and blocked him from every social media website.”

Life coach Manoj Lekhi observes that social media can indeed make it difficult to completely move on since one is still attached to them in the virtual world. He observes, “In a way, social media has made it difficult to move on. What we communicate or do on social media has a stronger effect on our relationships. Keeping up with an ex’s daily activities can evoke a lot of unwanted feelings, which can negatively impact your emotional well-being.”

Going through break ups can be agonising, if undetected it could harm one’s mental health. Life coach Chetna Mehrotra observes that since one tends to share photos of the best moments during a relationship, seeing those post-breakup could make it difficult to move on. “Once you break up, you need to remain aloof from your ex and your virtual world. There is absolutely no point penning or typing your sorrows on social media in order to get attention and sympathy from people. It often results in self-destructive tendencies and victimhood. There is no use of social media for writing sob stories. That’s what the doctor will order too.”

It may be tempting for some to flaunt the bond they share with their beloved, or take out their angst on social media when things are not so rosy. But relationship, relationship expert Dr Seema Hingorany advises that one should keep their private life off social media. She says, “It is best to avoid putting messages that demean the ex since it shows both individuals in poor light. Bringing down someone else on social media won’t lead you anywhere. In fact, it is a reflection of low self-confidence.”