That hand on your shoulder

It was in the mid 1970s that sexual harassment was recognised as a pervasive social problem. Social researcher Katherine Wong (2010) examines sexual harassment around the globe to conclude that it involves intimidation, coercion or bullying of a sexual nature. It also encompasses unwelcome or inappropriate promise of rewards in exchange of sexual favours.

Much more to it
Clearly, sexual harassment is more than mere physical advances, covering any unwelcome conduct like verbal remarks, sexual comment or manipulation of situations to gain control and get sexual favours offered as ‘gaslighting’. The effects of gaslighting cause the gaslightee to experience self-doubt, diminished self-esteem, confusion, anxiety, depression, and can even provoke psychosis. They may also suffer emotional trauma.

Tarana Burke, an activist from Harlem, explains her ordeal of meeting a young victim of sexual harassment. Her bonding with this young girl a decade ago in a youth camp hosted by Just Be Inc inspired her to start the #MeToo campaign.

Burke recalls, “Heaven, a sweet-faced little girl, kind of clung to me through the camp. However, she was hyperactive, had a high-pitched voice and anger-filled behaviour. I was frequently rescuing her from some situation or the other. She had a deep sadness and a yearning for confession that I read immediately and wanted no part of. Finally, she almost begged me to listen. I reluctantly conceded. For the next several minutes this child struggled to tell me about her “step-daddy” or rather her mother’s boyfriend who was doing all sorts of monstrous things to her developing body. I was horrified by her words, and I listened until I could not take it anymore.

I watched her walk away as she tried to recapture her secrets and tuck them back into her young mind, put on her mask and go back into the world like she was all alone. And I couldn’t even bring myself to whisper… me too.”

Though initially launched to aid sexually abused underprivileged women of colour, the #MeToo movement soon gained popularity across the globe. Recently, a young girl from South India wrote of her childhood abuse by a famous poet:

‘Poet uncle molested me’
“I was ten when father told us uncle is coming home to visit us. Uncle loved children, used to write, recite and teach poems to children. Since father wrote poems, several poets used to visit us. It was father’s excited talk which gave me the idea that the poet that day was someone important. When it grew dark, he came to the house with father. Smelling of alcohol, the grey-haired man’s eyes grew small when he smiled.

He sang a children’s poem, taught us to sing them and scolded us when we got it wrong. I was exhausted soon and fell asleep, when I woke up I found uncle lying next to me, his hand between my thighs, pressing me with his fingers. My voice was frozen, when I tried to move away he affectionately told me ‘it will be over soon, soon’. I couldn’t move, my neck burned; I sweated. It was all over soon as uncle said, but I can still feel the burn even as I am writing this.”

The narration shocked many. The one who amused children with his literary magic, was allegedly a paedophile. The allegations against the poet did not stop there as several women narrated their own ordeal from him.

‘It was my senior lecturer’
I worked part-time at university, and taught graduate and postgraduate students. My work included marking assignments. A senior lecturer in invited me to his office to conduct marking. I was told about his increasing workload, how tired he was, and his words were ‘F**k, oh F**k’. I might have looked surprised, and he instantly apologised and said, ‘I hope you use these words in your country, please excuse.’ I replied ‘It’s alright’. Then he continued to ask me to say the word, his words were ‘can you say it, let me hear, say ‘F**k’ I like to hear it’.

I wanted this session to be over. I said ‘Can we please begin marking?’ He apologised and then as we continued working, the remarks came again. The next day I dreaded the idea of going there but had to as I had a contract. When I reached the office he wanted a hug. That was the last day of my marking. I was shocked, terrified and never dared to go back to the department if he was around.

Power, a key issue  
Power is argued as being a ‘key issue in sexual harassment’ in several studies. The unequal power dynamics in my ordeal and the sexual harassment victims/abuser could be that of superior/junior, teacher/student, parent/child or any such relations where one person has some kind of power over the other. Moreover, society keeps reminding women from an early age the importance of shame, humility and more importantly keeping quiet.

Cultural Factors
In the case of the poet, some remarked that he was entitled to be a little naughty, as his poems mattered, not his character. As Wong found, these questions proved that in the Indian cultural context, sexual harassment is sometimes permissive.

Through discourse and history women are equated with suffering, pain and patience. Proverbs might differ in different regions, but many are in a similar vein: “A leaf falling on thorn or otherwise harms the leaf’ or the ubiquitous “Boys will be Boys”

Others imply that sexual harassment is permitted for men while women should keep quiet. Such arguments indicate that men see sexual harassment as a privilege and treats women as sexual objects. Beliefs of how a man should behave, or how a woman should act in society are embedded in the cultural fabric and difficult to change.

(The writer is a research scholar in Gender and organisational Culture at the University of York, England)