Book Review | De does not flinch from baring deepest frailties, darkest fears

What is the nicest birthday present you can give yourself to commemorate your 75th birthday? A reflective book on yourself is Shobhaa De’s answer, and here it is! Insatiable covers 12 months that lead up to the big day, and De informs us in the introduction that it’s about food, family and friendship, “…my way of expressing gratitude to all the ingredients that have added so much zest to my seventy-five years.”

It’s much more than that, however — it covers her deepest, darkest fears and insecurities too. De isn’t remotely shy about exposing her vulnerabilities, and that really is what gives the book its mojo.

It kicks off with the pandemic lockdown gradually lifting. No more wearing “nighties” 24x7, bring on the silks and mulmuls! The mood is sunny, her wedding vows are renewed, the house help is back in full force, parties, lit fests, art gallery events, etc, are in full swing, life is good.

The family bits in the book are sweet, because well, family is family, and everyone loves all their babies, even in this “yours, mine and ours” kind of family, where children from past marriages and the present marriage fraternise happily. The children have reached the age where they mother their mother and keep a stern eye on her columns and tweets lest she gets herself into the bad books of politicians again. Reading about De’s husband is more enjoyable though, because she makes him interesting by affectionately teasing or cajoling him whenever she mentions him — it’s sort of like flirting with him throughout the book. We are told in a tongue-in-cheek manner about his passionate interest in the war on Ukraine, his melodramatic Bengali side, his finicky food habits, everything!

When it comes to friends, De is chatty and chummy with everyone from hair-dressers and maalish ladies to actors, politicians and princes (one is now a king). One thing is for sure — celebrities are attracted to other celebrities in quite the same manner as iron filings are to magnets. And who would have thought lit fests were the easiest places to pick up people, including Nobel laureates? There are unintended tips on how to win friends and influential people here. Learn!

Apart from new friends won, old friends are lost too, and De asks you, Dear Reader, a pertinent question: “How many of you lost friendships and witnessed cracks in close, personal relationships during the past eight years? Think about it. I fell out with a few old and trusted friends because each time we spoke there were heated arguments and pointless debates. All of them to do with politics… Families have been divided and marriages broken, because of one despotic individual.”

If there’s one thing that De cares most about, it is this: She wants to be remembered primarily as a writer. “Unfortunately for me, writing was and will always be viewed as a ‘pastime’ even by those who should know better (hint: family!). Then there are others who look at me and think, ‘What? This one? A writer? Isn’t she a famous socialite? Did you see her highlighted hair?’…Over fifty years of steady and consistent writing later, I still have to confront the disbelief and offhand attitude of people who have never written a sentence in their lives.”

Towards the end of the book though, the mood darkens and sullen clouds drift in. She talks about the one time in her life when she really had no money and no family member was willing to extend support — they blamed her for her choices instead. Then there are those daily obits in the papers that frequently bring depressing news of some of her dearest friends. She talks about why she prefers to hang out with younger people at the club because “I could laugh and gossip with them like I couldn’t possibly do with two dour-faced strangers all set to narrate some more stories about how many contemporaries were no more, how they’d died and where — complete with gory medical records of suffering, neglect and sorrow… I didn’t need tragic tales. I needed laughter. And hope.”

In the final chapter, De takes a big life decision — not an easy one at all. Yet, you can almost hear the strains of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” starting up, because De has proved time and again that she most certainly will survive.

More than just an easy, enjoyable read, this is a rather moving portrayal of De’s life. There are highs to celebrate and lows to cluck over, but there’s never a dull moment. I guarantee that you will feel ravenous while reading Insatiable, because food dominates the pages, from rich biryanis to singharas and humble jhalmuri. So what if you pile on the pounds — you could well become Zomato or Swiggy’s Customer of the Week, hoorah!

Insatiable

By Shobhaa De

HarperCollins

pp. 282, Rs.699