A survival guide for daddies-to-be

Life coaches discuss tips on how to be a good husband during the nine-month roller-coaster ride

Indian off-spinner Harbhajan Singh and wife Geeta Basra are all set to welcome a new member in their life as the couple is expecting their first child next month. The pair got married last year, and the cricketer revealed that he attended a few pre-natal classes for couples with his wife to be ready for the new responsibilities in his life. The soon-to-be father also revealed that pregnant or not it’s difficult to live with a woman and he is he is trying to make his wife feel comfortable and understands that he has to be supportive during this phase. While your wife is doing a lot of hard work, it is usual during pregnancies that women get a little irate at things, largely due to hormonal changes, which affect the emotional setup. During times like these, it is ideal for a man to encourage his woman, suggests life coach Chetna Mehrotra, “Shower her with praises, give her a massage as women often get cramps and swelling and one can read and educate himself. It will be a major boost to the psyche of a pregnant woman who will find encouragement in knowing that her partner understands what she is going through physically and emotionally,” she says.

Having a child is just not about becoming a good husband but a good parent first, feels life coach, Priya Kumar. “Just like the wife is nurturing the baby, it is the husband’s responsibility to nurture the wife. It’s a joint venture and requires great emotional and mental support from both the parties. They are going to lay the foundation of a family and it’s very important to spend time together. It’s not ‘my wife is pregnant’ and should instead be ‘we are pregnant’.”

While her behaviour due to hormonal changes may seem to be utterly irrational, blaming her and cracking jokes at her expense in not the right thing to do, warns life coach Khyati Birla, “Husbands often crack jokes at their wives expense and feel that they are trying to seek attention but that’s not the case. What wives actually need during such times is unconditional support. It’s necessary for both the partners to educate themselves about what is normal during pregnancy. The husband needs to make himself aware and anticipate the changes before hand and be prepared,” she says.

It’s also very important to spend time together, “If the wife is allowed to do workouts go together, take up hobby classes, read together and the husband needs to understand that it’s a short-term thing and they have a beautiful life to look forward to,” says Khyati. “The husband should also make sure that they spend quality time together or else hostility will build up. Make sure you regularly visit the doctor with your wife,” adds Priya.

It is ideal to take some time out and understand each and every aspect of it. “Women often go through body image issues during and after pregnancy, one way to help her deal with it is to constantly remind her that she is more beautiful than ever, a capable human and will be a wonderful mother,” Chetna says.