‘Imperfect’ and proud

City girl Harnidh Kaur is looking to create a safe space on Twitter, by getting users to open up about instances when they were body shamed

With the growing popularity of social networking websites, chances of having a run in with a troll or two has been a common occurrence. It’s precisely to combat the presence of these trolls, and provide a secure haven for users on Twitter that Harnidh Kaur started tweeting out threads, urging people to talk and open up about important issues that are often swept under the carpet.

Earlier this week, the Mumbai-based poet and author tweeted out a simple question, asking people to share instances about being body shamed. The amount of answers — both as open tweets and personal messages — that Harnidh received, was overwhelming. “I wanted to try and create a safe space on a site that has a lot of trolls. It can only be created if people talk; unless you build solidarity, people won’t open up,” she explains. “I think talking it out — especially with empathetic strangers — is really helpful. You realise you’re not alone. Secondly, a lot of people realise they didn’t even know they were struggling with certain emotions.”

The result of the thread was that Twitter users from both India and abroad opened up about public shaming they’d been on the receiving end of. Take dance instructor Chitra, for example, who says she replied to the thread because it struck a chord with her. “I’ve faced body-shaming most of my life and it’s become worse since becoming a dance instructor. People seem to think it gave them a right to comment on my body. A bout of illness and bed-rest resulted in me gaining 15 kgs, but I was shamed, and my Instagram posts were riddled with people calling me fat and ugly, telling me that I ought to be ashamed to even publish these videos. With this kind of shaming, you’re made to hate the one thing in the world that’s truly yours — your body,” she says passionately.

Shivam Manghnani, a Dubai-based accountant too participated in the thread. “I can now openly admit that I was body shamed throughout my youth,” he says, still apprehensive about Twitter as a place for open dialogue. “I don’t think Twitter is a safe space, but over time I’m able to block out the negativity. Someone who’s willing to listen to your story will always make you feel slightly better about yourself, though. Also, being open about yourself can result in others doing so too.”

A striking issue that came up for both Harnidh and others was the high number of colour shaming instances. “Interestingly,” says Harnidh, “this was an issue most women spoke about. You don’t realise they carry so much hurt or anger over something they have no control on. I know colour shaming exists in India, but watching it up close was different.”

She adds, “A model told me that brands paid her to wear their clothes and splashed her photos all over, but her own family shames her for being dark.”

Besides a thread on body shaming, Harnidh has earlier spoken about sexual abuse and mental illnesses too, the latter having touched her deeply as a curator. “The idea is to make people realise that these things matter. The trauma isn’t something they can brush away,” Harnidh says. “The number of men who came up and spoke about mental illnesses was a lot. Many a times, men don’t talk much about mental illnesses and stress. Seeing people realise they could do with some help was quite a powerful experience. A lot of counsellors messaged me and said they’d like to volunteer and help people in certain areas.”