Love in the time of social media

Couples are taking advantage of social media to create elaborate marriage proposals, and sharing it with the world in real time

The idea of asking for a girl’s hand in marriage often involved the bended knee pose — getting on one knee, looking her in the eyes and asking her to be your wife. You would narrate the incident to your near and dear ones for years to come. With the advent of social media, however, the romantic proposal too is getting a twist. Now, your friends (including “friends” on social media) are invited make sure you “freeze the moment” and the memory is for all to see.

Earlier this week, author Durjoy Dutta took to social media to propose to his fiancée Avantika. Durjoy started with an explanation about the Internet proposal and later goaded his fans to support him in his quest to get a “yes” from Avantika. While Durjoy’s proposal may have had the grandest possible scale, it isn’t a rare sight to witness couples involving their friends and social media followers in a private moment.

Mental healthcare professional Paras Sharma proposed to his girlfriend at a weekend getaway in 2013, with a little help from his friends. Their common friends helped him create a customised wedding planner, and capture the moment forever. Paras adds that while they weren’t looking to make a public event out of it, it was important for him to do it in the company of his friends. He recalls, “My girlfriend knew that the proposal was coming, but she didn’t know when. Asking her to marry me was one of those things which was important for the both of us. We wanted to do it in the company of people who have been supportive of the relationship. These days, the notion of a private and public space is changing. I don’t think it is an attention-seeking ploy. It is all about sharing a private moment with loved ones. I see nothing wrong in that.”

Life coach Milind Jadhav observes that social media is a big help for those who are “overtly shy” about expressing their feelings. He says, “Social media has been a boon to our generation. Updating one’s life online is a matter of personal choice — one may choose to share every detail in one’s life or simply share important events. There is no right or wrong to this. But if it has made our life easier, it has also made us cowardly.”

A chartered accountant, Priya Acharya, isn’t a fan of witnessing “over the top romance” on her timeline. She says, “These days everything is about getting the maximum likes and attention. These posts hardly look genuine — it seems more like these couples are in a rush to prove to the world how much they love their partner. I don’t think people outside are interested in knowing such intimate details. Some moments are meant to be between two people, and it should stay that way!”

Life coach Chetna Mehrotra says that ultimately it depends on the individual if they decide to share such details publicly. However, she warns that the person in question should be given an inkling should you plan to share the moment publicly. She says, “Proposing on the Internet is an innovative idea. There needs to be a line as to what you publish as long as you are convinced that it won’t cause any harm to you or the people involved. One must remember that it could become a serious source of embarrassment for both parties.”