Why should boys have all the fun

A viral image of a Pakistani tea vendor has raised a few questions —apart from many eyebrows. Why is it okay for women to swoon over a good looking man when the reverse doesn’t hold true

With fair skin and deep blue eyes, Internet’s latest pin-up boy is a Pakistani tea vendor named Arshad Khan. Ever since Islamabad-based photographer Jiah Khan shared the dreamy-eyed chaiwala’s photo on Instagram, it has garnered over 20,000 likes and comments, and has been shared by thousands of smitten women (and men) on both sides of the border. The collective crushing over the 18-year-old shot his popularity up to such an extent, that an online retailer has already signed Khan for a modelling contract. While many see this as a welcome breather against the backdrop of the political tensions at the border, a brigade of men (and some women) are referring to the hullabaloo as ‘reverse sexism,’ pointing out that sharing Khan’s pictures and making him seem desirable is in a way, objectifying him.

A meme that says, “What if I shared a picture of a girl working at a mall What would they call me ” did a fair share of rounds after the picture hit a few thousand likes. While many shared it, others like stand-up comedian Sorabh Pant are just puzzled that news like this — amusing and delightful — is being twisted into something darker. “It is such a good underdog story! Women’s rights is a far bigger issue than this and comparing the two isn’t right. I’m not saying that men’s right issues are trivial, but it is a generally rare phenomenon. I think there is only sexism — discrimination based on gender regardless of female or male.” The fact that the muse is only benefitting from the exercise eliminates talks of sexism, he points out.

Writer and comedian Radhika Vaz, who addresses sexism as an issue in most of her stage material, scoffs at the idea of ‘reverse sexism,’ reminding us that sexism is a system of oppression that disadvantages someone by discriminating against them due to their gender. She continues, “Women face sexism every day of their lives. And it isn’t a trivial issue such as this one. It is a serious problem that often threatens their life and that of those around them. Comparing something like this to the kind of sexism women face is beyond me. Men aren’t subject to the same consequences of sexism like women,” she says.

True as that may be, it doesn’t change the fact that men are easily targeted for ‘objectifying,’ points out Abhishek Singh, a marketing professional. “It’s so weird. If women lust after a chaiwala, it’s fine but if she overhears guys ‘objectifying’ a maid, suddenly it’s a big deal. Agreed that men are not as objectified as women have been, but there are times when even men compliment a woman with good intentions, but it gets taken in a rather wrong sense. How men get treated is absolute double standards, but if you bring that matter up, it’s either ridiculed or it gets women angry at us. A lot of us tread on eggshells and people don’t get it.”

Former VJ and comedian Jose Covaco is amused at the thought of the outrage. After a bout of laughter, the funnyman says, “I’m not saying that there aren’t men’s issues that require attention, but this seems silly. I mean, this guy is definitely going to have a better life. He has already bagged an endorsement, which is great news in itself. But, it doesn’t seem to be a product of reverse sexism. Sexism is when a human being is differentiated against or exploited. In this case, none of it is happening.”

And that’s xactly the point Mallika Dua wants to make. The actress, who shot to fame with ‘Sh*t People Say: Sarojini Nagar Edition’, says, “People are gushing over him. And he is honestly a good looking chap. However, they aren’t looking at him as a commodity. And frankly, he hasn’t been around for long enough to be ‘sexualised.’ Besides, if you look at it as sexism, this is something women face every day of their lives.”