Sensitising the language of suicide

Even as 24-year-old Pawanjeet Kohli’s suicide rocked Mumbai earlier this week, it also managed to start a discussion on depression and mental health in the city. The youngster, who, on the face of things, seemed to have a perfect life, jumped off the Bandra-Worli Sea Link, over a soured affair.

However, his death and the subsequent talk about mental health has had psychologists angling to change the terminology used to address the act of suicide.

Asserting that information propagated while talking about suicide can add to the negative connotation and the stigma surrounding it, Nitika Gupta, a psychologist associated with Mpower-The Centre says, “We commit crimes, sins and mistakes. Unfortunately, we also ‘commit’ suicide. When we use the term, there’s an inherent assumption that suicide is a wrongdoing. It’s implied that the person has committed a crime or sin, unworthy of empathy.”

Instead, she propagates the use of the term ‘passed away by suicide’ or ‘suicided’.

“Similarly,” she adds, “We should avoid terms like ‘succeeded’ and ‘failed’ when it comes to suicide. How can one be successful when the result is death, or fail at an attempt when the outcome is survival? The paradoxical language leads to confusion, and perputuate the stigma.”

Adds psychologist Tanu Choksi, “Right from school kids to college kids and the older generation, everyone is susceptible to negative emotions and ideas of suicide. Improving the terminology around how you talk about suicide will definitely cushion it and aim for a change. Indeed, ‘death by suicide’ is a better way of addressing it. Besides changing the way we talk about it, let’s not forget we also need to take many, measures to counter it too. When it comes to addressing crowds and looking out for signs and symptoms of depression, we need to raise awareness around it. Professionals need to come out and talk about how depression works and how negative thoughts could overpower an individual.

Neerja Birla, who has taken up the cause of mental health for many years with Mpower, says that negative conversation cannot just hamper people battling depression, but also the families of those who have died by suicide. “Mental health care is critical as a preventive measure to mental illness. After a suicide, the family is already extremely traumatised. To add to it, one comes across a lot of negative conversation, victim blaming, insensitivity towards family and friends. This not only adds to the trauma but also reinforces stereotyping, and the stigma. It is our collective responsibility to be speaking about mental health in an appropriate manner to address a heavily stigmatised topic like this.”

Nitika elaborates, “One cannot imagine the turmoil a deceased person’s family goes through. And although the best thing we can do to support them is to respect their privacy while they grieve, what happens is quite the opposite. It’s also tremendously insensitive to exaggerate or oversimplify the reason for a young person to have taken his or her life. Suicide is a highly complex outcome of severe distress; not necessarily an impulsive reaction to a breakup, failure or a demotion.”