A queer Valentine

Five years ago, I could not have imagined going to a gathering of queer people in order to mingle on Valentine’s day. This year I went to my first queer Valentine’s event in the city. It was an open celebration of love and it felt great,” says artist Uppa Tsuyo. Love in Delhi seems to be changing. There are a handful of cafes, bars, restaurants and dating apps in Delhi celebrating queer love this year.

Manan Rathore, co-founder of Myolo app, who organised one such party for queer singles and couples, says, “We have been organising theme based events where couples are invited. This time we organised an event exclusively for queer couples and it was a great hit. Although we did face problems when it came to finding enough partners for women. Not many women turn up at such public queer events and that is a shortcoming.”

He added, “It cannot be denied there are class differences when it comes to such events, but we are trying slowly to reach as many people as possibly. Hopefully this will change with time.”

But the International Condom Day celebrations in Central Park, Connaught Place saw a good turn-out from different sections of the queer community. Manvendra Singh Gohil, one of the organising members of International Condom Day celebrations and Brand Ambassador of AIDS Healthcare Foundation, says, “International Condom Day is intentionally kept a day before Valentine’s day to spread a message regarding safe sexual practices. Although it’s an awareness platform, there is also a lot of celebration element to it. Of course the queer community is a huge part of it.”

At the same time, a community café in Delhi which is organising an event for Valentine’s day for queer couples was very forthcoming when approached, but did not wish to reveal its name publically, reflecting how Delhi is still grappling with the changing times.

While several of these Valentine celebrations are happening outdoors, Delhi is also gearing up for a few queer house parties. “I am organising one because I know going outside for a Valentine’s day party is not the best choice I have as a queer woman. Of course, a house party means meeting familiar faces again. There are less chances of meeting someone new, but that is how it is for lesbian and bisexual women. At least this is my safe space,” shares Ipshita (name changed). “Even though it is a queer house party, I won’t exclude my heterosexual friends, love is love after all,” she adds.

As the celebrations continue, LGBTQI activists have raised several questions regarding the same.

Gautam Yadav, a gay rights activist, says, “Many times we do take initiatives, but we don’t follow through. For example, the card company Archies’ took an intiative in 2010 and came out with Valentine’s day cards for same sex couples. But then these cards disappeared for quite a long time. Maybe it didn’t sell well.”

Talking about queer inclusive parties in Delhi, Gautam adds, “It is very nice that people are engaging the queer crowd in Valentine’s day celebrations, but one can’t deny the fact that there have been many parties where cross-dressers and trans people have been denied entry. If you are talking about the LGBTQI community, everyone should be allowed.”

Queer women also have low attendence at such events. Uppa adds, “At the Myolo event too I wished there had been more women.”

Rituparna Borah,  queer feminist activist, from Nazariya says, “Valentine’s Day celebrations generate a lot of revenue, and it is but natural that many such events happen. It is a good strategy. Despite this, it is evident that the turnout of women is very low. Of course gay men are more forthcoming and out in the open when it comes to such events.”