Don't let life bog you down

Julie’s life appeared shattered as the doctor had diagnosed a cancerous lump in her left breast and advised immediate surgery. With the assurance from the doctor that the surgery will not endanger her life, she recovered. However, she was beset with new concerns and fears as she was told that a part of her breast will be removed along with the lump. But will she be able to turn her husband on? 

Like Julie, many people who are ill, have various concerns about their altered sexuality or due to the side effects of the treatment. Sex and health are inseparable. 

Chronic illnesses often adversely affect one’s sexual desire and functioning through their debilitating effects. Surgeries, accidents and disfigurement may produce poor self-esteem and depression. These feelings are counter-productive for effective sexual functioning and may affect the partners as well. The absence of a sexual outlet will result in frustration and resentment. However, if one has a positive attitude and is willing to change their sexual lifestyle, they can enjoy their sex lives despite illnesses.

A Few Pointers:

Alternatives to genital intercourse such as masturbation and caresses can be resorted to.

Express your frustration and fears to your partner to help them to understand you better.

Discuss with your doctor about your sexual concerns and clarify your doubts/apprehensions.

The illness has only put a break on your sex life, not deprived you permanently.

If certain postures have become difficult or painful, try others.

Nobody has a perfect figure or look in the world. Your disfigurement doesn’t make you less of a person.

Don’t feel guilty. Falling ill is one of the exigencies of being a human.

The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana @deccanmail. com