Working with the ex-files

All break-ups are uncomfortable, distressing and painful. But when you break–up with a colleague in a professional set-up, it introduces a whole new awkward element to an already fragile situation. Rumour mills were abuzz that Katrina Kaif has refused to promote Jagga Jasoos with ex-lover Ranbir Kapoor because the two haven’t been able to see eye to eye after falling apart.  

While working with your former significant other may be inconvenient, it always helps to move back to the basics and deal with the situation.  Consulting psychologist Kinjal Pandya explains, “Understand that you met as colleagues first, and the relationship happened only later. Though it may be very difficult to move back to square one, because there are feelings involved, it is best to coax the mind and behave professionally, to avoid embarrassment,”. Awkwardness arises due to lack of closure, and it is always advisable to seek it, “People are unable to work together because there are still feelings involved. Use your intelligence and not your heart to deal with the situation gracefully, on a professional front,” advises relationship counsellor Nisha Khanna.

One has to be well-equipped with remedies and measures every morning before meeting the ex at work. Kinjal says, “Make sure that you condition your mind to be prepared and face the situation. One needs to keep the sentiments aside and be on a constant high alert,” she shares. Avoid any sort of personal questions, she adds, “It is very obvious that your former partner would try stepping out of the line and ask personal questions about your current partner and make you feel vulnerable, during times like these one must make sure that one is firm with their decision and not indulge them any further and keep the conversation limited to only professional talks.”

If you are not ready to face the person or situation, give yourself some time, “ No one is forcing you to face your ex, but as co-workers it is always advisable to keep the relationship graceful. Give yourself some time and go on a break, if need be. Understand that there are issues that need a resolution and let your mind break-free from all the clutter to think about those issues,” Nisha shares.

While switching jobs may seem to be the easiest option at your disposal, it is not always advisable, “How far can you run from a person? Taking impulsive decisions never helps. Equip your emotional intelligence and face the issue boldly rather than running away from the job, maintaining a professional-personal balance is the best way ahead,” asserts Kinjal.