A strong foundation

“Such guys bloody deserve to rot in hell!” spewed Sushma vociferously. “What kind of a woman would do something like that? I mean, where was her sense of right and wrong?” countered Animesh, her husband. Sushma looked at him and thundered. “Animesh, the lady’s husband tortured and abused her for months, he definitely deserves to die this way!” The above argument happened after reading a news item about a movie — Provoked, based on the real-life story of a woman who made headlines for burning her husband to death.

My dear men, we all need to evolve as better humans and there is always scope for improvement. This is not an attempt to exonerate men completely, neither are we referring to those with psychiatric or sadistic problems but it is about getting to the bottom of the issue. A father and a mother go on to create and nurture a child. But since the bonding is more with the mother, the onus of instilling sensitivity falls on her. In the male-dominated society, a woman tends to internalise the attitudes of the men she is with — her father, brother or husband. And she inadvertently passes on the same to her sons who go on to be fathers, brothers and husbands.

A few pointers to mothers:

• You are who your children will be, you are constantly being watched. So make sure, you are the right one to watch.
• The world needs men of good character. Parents and others in positions of authority have a powerful influence in helping boys develop these characteristics.
• Encourage him to emote, reach out and acknowledge his emotions.

The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com