Finding a soulmate is blissful

While it would help introverts come out of their shells, we don’t want to create trolls and stalkers either who have a casual attitude toward relationships or an appetite to create a line of ‘conquests’ and trick or defraud women.

Young people have ever yearned for and sought a perfect ‘soulmate’. Taking off from last week’s column on the Chinese University courses that go right ahead teach you the ‘Theory and Practice of Romantic Relationships’, as I ponder over it, I do think the world as it is might well benefit from a structured university course on the subject. Trust the Chinese to go right at it and clinically fill a need. It’s so much a natural need, that the first person who seems to be ‘it’ is euphorically owned as this perfect soul-mate.

It is so understandable that if you have spoken a friendly word and there is easier communication or acquaintance, along with it comes a degree of regard of ‘proper’ behaviour. (Of course we’re not speaking of psychopathic aberrations here). The added bonus would be in learning how to make appropriate friendly overtures to persons of the opposite sex, and you automatically work the knowledge in a wider context. We’re speaking  of bonding, friendship, also relationships, respect and the  like between human beings after all.

But human-beings are only human, and not perfect beings, and the initial euphoria that began with a promise of ‘rose’s romance and Valentines’ may transform into a path fraught with painful deficiencies.  Many of these could be avoided, or are unnecessary and with understanding and guided wisdom life could go it’s rosy path. Boy-girl things, too, like other fields can benefit with a ‘how-To’ course. After-all forming relationships, handling break-ups, side stepping arguments, circumventing over possessiveness with the right counsel could guide and mentor immaturity and make for stronger life bonds.

As it is youth can be an age of bewilderment, and vulnerability comes with often in-built turmoil, turbulence, hormonal and emotional upsurges that are only increasing in the times that are. Awry relationships are strewn with sadness and depressive suicides. You study what it’s all about—you understand things, you are better equipped. Aren’t we having courses already in EQ? This is EQ across sexes!

Small families—one or two offspring and you find pre-occupations of well-being narrowed and lives for all manner of complex modern reasons are becoming reclusive. To an extent it’s just yourself and maybe one or two others—is all?  But it has been sociologically and psychologically established that compassion, concern for others, tolerance, caring sharing are the well-spring of happiness! We have to now study the almost lost art of making overtures to a girl or boy in universities. Better that than loneliness? And getting that girl or boy does require some art and some strategy too—the learning would help.

I’d just caution individuals trained to be better in their courting techniques to accompany it with transparency and genuine caring, not for the wrong reasons? While it would help introverts come out of their shells, we don’t want to create trolls and stalkers either with a casual attitude toward relationships or an appetite to create a line of ‘conquests’ and trick or defraud women or take advantage of them?

This new university regimen would only work if it churns out just more people with more refined communication and dating skills with an ability to create a stable relationship with better EQ?

The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com