Once a cheater; always a cheater

Partners cheating on each other is not a big deal — it happens all the time, right? But what about a man cheating on the woman when she is pregnant?  It was only recently that a pregnant Coleen Rooney stormed out of the house after her footballer husband Wayne Rooney got arrested for drunk driving. He was allegedly with a girl when arrested, and the wife is supposedly to be mad that he was cheating on her when she’s pregnant. This is not happening for the first time from Rooney’s side. 

Coming to think of it, what really makes men stray in such a delicate time? Dr Rajan Bhonsle, sex therapist, believes one of the major contributing factors on men straying from their wives is the unavailability of sex. “This stems from a myth that pregnant women can’t have sex. When even we as therapists always support it,” he says. As it turns out, it is a common misconception that women cannot have intercourse when they are pregnant, claiming that it will hurt the unborn child. However, Dr Rajan sheds light on the fact that it is perfectly all right to have sex even when the woman is seven months pregnant, provided that there is no weight/pressure on her belly. 

On the other hand, life coach Priya Kumar likes to believe that pregnancy is not the sole reason that sets men on the edge. “It is a gradual build-up — there is more than one reason that leads to the downfall of the relationship. It is barely related to the woman being pregnant,” she says, adding that if a person if prone to cheating, they will do it any way regardless of the situation their relationship is in. 

 

Apart from this, Dr Rajan points out that men stray because a lot of men are more interested in the superficial aspects of women. “During pregnancy, the woman gains weight and becomes a completely different person as a result of the constantly changing hormones. This also causes men to steer away,” he says. The sex therapist adds that men, who care a lot about these superficial aspects, are the ones prone to cheating. 

Priya also points out another factor that during the pregnancy, everything becomes about the woman. “Consider how some men say “We are pregnant,” and others say, “My wife is pregnant.” There is the difference. As a result of this, the man feels left out, and decides to act up,” she says.

Once it is out in the open that the man has cheated, Dr Rajan advises that any further action needs to be taken in presence of a counsellor. “When the wife finds out that her husband has cheated on her, it is a very deep wound. But it is worsened when the wife is pregnant. So I would suggest that one sits in company of their counsellor to take things forward,” he concludes.