Does it hurt to be kind?

Memes are the daily source of entertainment for thousands of people. Constantly shared over social media, the subjects for these memes range from current affairs to daily chores. But recently, memes became a source of bullying, as images of two grown men were shared with degrading sexual connotations. 

Sanjay and Durgesh memes have been going viral on social media for a while now. Images of the duo sharing a homosexual relationship, about paedophilia, and other sexual connotations started doing the rounds. This went on for a while till last when the truth surfaced. 

On spotting one of these memes, Sanjay’s cousin reported them immediately. He even went on to post a clarification on social media that said that the duo has a father-son relationship, and that Sanjay’s father Durgesh is a retired government official, and has been unwell for a while. 

When the truth emeged, some people immediately looked back to their actions. However, a large chunk continued to shared the meme, leading one to question is social empathy is dead. 

Kinjal Pandya, consulting psychologist, truly believes that social empathy is slowly vanishing from the society. “People are becoming more and more sadistic — we are growing up to find more pleasure in the misery of others. And that, honestly, is very sad,” she laments.

Counselling psychologist Dr Kashish A. Chhabria, believes that these days, empathy is a gem found very rarely. “Another reason why people aren’t more empathetic is because they are all riddled with their own issues to even bother about someone else,” she says,  adding that our urge to constantly judge people is also one reason we are becoming extremely selfish.

Kinjal further explains how the hatred within one’s mind and heart gets them to be more sadistic. “These days, when we see someone in emotional trouble, our priority no longer remains about getting them to feel better. Instead, we concentrate more on how to make their situation worse,” she points out, adding that a lack of empathy harms the person himself and those around him as well. 

So then how can empathy be brought into the picture?

Kinjal explains that empathy and sympathy both offer a strong emotional support to the opposite person. “It gives them confidence that they are not alone in their struggle. And that everyone around them is also struggling with their own issues,” she says. 

The only way to amend this is to teach children compassion from a young age, believes Kashish. “As parents, we are busy comparing other children with ours, judging other parents for their parenting techniques, among so many other things. We need to stop that and inculcate compassion and 
understanding,” she explains.