In sickness and in health

Rumours that reality TV star Kim Kardashian could leave her husband Kanye West were rife ever since the time the rapper was discharged from the hospital, where he was seeking outpatient treatment following a psychotic breakdown.  However, Kim later revealed that she ‘still’ loves her husband and has no plans of parting ways with him. To devise ways to maintain a healthy relationship, rather than one overwhelmed and steered by mental illness when your spouse suffers from an ailment. becomes the need of the hour in a situation like Kim’s.  

Relationship counsellor Dr Ranjan Bhonsle asserts that there are two ways of dealing with the issue, “Either you be patient enough and compromise with the person for the rest of your life, considering the illness might take a long time to be cured, or you just give up and move on in life. Both of these decisions are equally correct but when you decide to stick around you have to make sure that your partner is your top most priority and everything else takes a backseat. It is a tough decision to make and should be taken wisely.” 

When a spouse has a psychotic breakdown, there is angst on both sides, as each one is equally affected; the other one is the main victim because he or she gave up too soon. Though abandoning your partner is not the best option, maintaining a little distance always helps advises life coach Priya Kumar, “Once you know that your partner is in safe hands, give them and yourself some time off, as feelings of regret and blame start seeping in. It is better to quarantine one floor of a building and be patient than letting the whole building collapse. It can get emotionally taxing and having a sound mental make-up will help in dealing with the problem,” she explains. 

 An emotional issue due to an illness becomes a liability. Educating yourself about your partner’s condition, and investing time in understanding how to deal with it always helps, “Understand the illness and prevent yourself from reducing your partner to a mere statistic. Once you give up hope, nothing can help and it is very important for you to keep up your spirits in order to make sure your partner doesn’t give up on theirs. It is indeed a very tough time for the family and it's important to have a back up and a support system in place, so that someone from the family can be in-charge while you are away. Burning yourself out over your spouse’s considition will only lead to more problems,” says life-coach Khyati Birla.