Love will find a way

Every year, February 14 comes wrapped in heart-shaped balloons at shop windows, a profusion of reds and pinks along the streets, and a sudden flurry of planning dates and surprises. Spreading the love this year is 27-year-old Rajeshwari Mane, who is a wheelchair user, and wants to surprise her partner Nazeem Shah with a romantic lunch out — their first official Valentine’s Day date in the seven years that they’ve been together.

They are not the only such couple. Thanks to city-based NGO Trinayani, a number of couples, where one or both partners have a disability, have been given a chance to spend a romantic day out in town, with a lunch, sponsored at Mainland China.

The initiative spans the cities of Mumbai, Hyderabad and Kolkata, with a view to show society that people who have disabilities are not so different from your everyday couple, and face their own set of trials and tribulations.

Rajeshwari Mane and Nazeem Shah

Rajeshwari has an entire evening planned for Nazeem, who thinks that the two of them are going to a work-related conference. “I was approached by Trinayani and they asked me if I wanted to be a part of this initiative, and of course I said yes. Sahil (which is what I call Nazeem) and I don’t get to go out that often, so this comes as a perfect opportunity. I’m looking forward to pampering him and will be dropping heavy hints that I want my own share of surprises after this,” she giggles.

Much like a love story out of a Bollywood film, Rajeshwari and Nazeem met when the latter dialled a wrong number, but the two of them got talking, anyway. “We met after eight months of talking. It’s amazing that this stranger has now turned into someone I essentially want to spend my life with. Yes, there were contentions at first, especially because my parents didn’t know him at all, and because we come from different religious backgrounds, but they were soon smoothed over. His parents, and especially his mother was very supportive right from the start, and never made an issue out of my disability,” Rajeshwari recalls.

While Rajeshwari exudes the dewy hopefulness of new love, even after seven years of being with Nazeem, Utpal Shah, who has cerebral palsy, has the calm confidence that 20 years of marriage with his wife Kiran has brought along. Though the two go out quite often, this is the first Valentine’s date that they have planned. “Both of us are really looking forward to this upcoming lunch, though we don’t really have much of an idea what’s in store for us once we do get there,” says Utpal, who has a 19-year-old daughter. “Love is about caring and understanding each other, and so long as we have these two elements, we can face any obstacles that come up,” he adds.

Utpal stands by the fact that people with disabilities should be treated no differently from anyone else. “We are not defined by our disabilities and I don’t think that people should look at us with pity,” he states.

Rajeshwari also has a similar message for the non-disabled community. “People need to understand that we are just like any other couple. We argue, we act mushy; we behave — in short — like any regular couple does. That’s what people need to understand,” she shrugs.

It is this message that Ritika Sahni, founder trustee of Trinayani, also wants to instill in the city folk. “We want to break the myth that disabled people must be matched with only disabled people and that having any disability is a barrier to a happy and satisfying relationship. This initiative will help show people otherwise,” she says.