It's complicated: On love and meeting often

This week, a question. Is the love for someone directly affected by the amount of time we spend with that individual? Does that mean we need to spend a substantial amount of time with someone to start developing a lasting attachment? One would assume parents start loving a child from the moment they set their eyes on the baby but that logic fails in certain cases.

Indrani Mukherjee, accused of her daughter’s murder, makes for an interesting study. She dotes on her daughter Vidhie, from her second marriage, who has always been with her but Indrani is accused of refusing to acknowledge the fact that she has two other children — Sheena and Mikhail Bora. She is accused of seeing them as a burden, nothing more. But after spending a significant amount of time with fellow women prisoners, Indrani has seemingly developed such a strong sense of empathy that now, she wants to donate 25 per cent of her wealth to support charities that work with women and children. Such generosity was never shown towards her own blood. Perhaps, she had never bonded with them.

Consider the former manager of the F1 Renault team, Flávio Briatore. He adores his son but admitted to sharing no relationship with daughter Leni, from supermodel Heidi Klum. His explanation was straightforward. “It’s hard to miss a baby you never see.” While he wishes his daughter well, he is just not emotionally invested in her enough. It does look like distance can, after all, stop hearts from growing fonder — out of sight, out of mind.

To love, we need to see and spend time with one another. While it is downright horrible to not care for a child, what do you do if the kid is a stranger? Divorced fathers don’t often get to see their children and our days are so fast-paced that no one really has the time for frequent visits. You may be paying child support but are you buying enough of plane tickets? Indrani’s family dynamics are a rarity. But I suppose, children need to realise they can’t really take their parents for granted.

US President-elect Donald Trump shares a close bond with his children, from various marriages, because he has always been there for his children. And the kids have stood by him. Fortunately for most, the parents fall in love right from the moment we break out into the first bout of crying. And in India, they can’t seem to let go even if you have grown taller than the front door. But the thing to remember is that a visit home won’t hurt. In fact, it’ll just double the love.