Different but equal

There’s a woman driver manouvering a car in reverse out of a tight spot. And observing men look on in patronising derision — “these women drivers!”

A wife tries bringing moderation to a husband going the ‘merry’ way at the party ogling younger girls and going a bit overboard on his drinks, and the ‘boys’ are all sympathy for the man harrowed by her ‘unreasonable’ nagging! You’ll see similar instances at work places. Women have to work twice as meticulously as men to get any credit. And if a woman is even working with plumbers, masons, carpenters, and paying them like a man, the labourers are indifferent to her directions in comparison to a male authority.

This is an objective observation more pronounced in India and I say this after having lived and worked in many countries worldwide.

A woman can be efficient, capable, educated but the male mindset is still in its regressive mode. Even in her sphere — the home — the man can be authoritarian with no impunity of being called a nag in that relationship. That tag exclusively belongs to a woman. “

Folks, it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee! Yes, some sections of open-minded society is acknowledging women as equally competent in all manners as men but the sad truth is, and I speak on a global view, women are having to assert this as much as other marginalised groups prevalent.

And where can this be best addressed In the early family environment, in schools that have an enlightened faculty, in political memoranda, and most definitely in the mind-sets of the women who want to win brownie-points with the boys!

Look around you ladies and gentlemen. And you don’t have very far to look either. Your mothers and wives are management executives par excellence. They manage time, prioritise agenda to fit needs, multi-task, delegate, micro supervise, are pros at public relations, mediating disputes and phew — multitasking.

Those precious relationships with women need to be celebrated and appreciated with more than supercilious patronisation. Genuine appreciation and participation with your wife and mother might be a better idea.

Also women need to celebrate women more than denigrate them. And more importantly relationships blooms when each partner is acknowledged and respected for what they bring to the table. You’ll be surprised as to how long a little appreciation goes in a relationship — more than expensive gifts and holidays.

The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com