Matters of frigidity

The term ‘frigid’, though fairly outdated, is sometimes used to allege sexual impassiveness or even coldness. The closest one can come to describing ‘frigidity’ in modern parlance would be sexual desire disorders, arousal/excitement disorders or aversion disorders.

Reasons for Frigidity There are a lot of physical, psychological and socio-cultural factors that are responsible for reduced or lack of desire in women. Conditions like kidney malfunction or excessive bleeding or drugs taken for blood pressure or depression can be causative factors. Being preoccupied by a life-threatening condition can also be a major reason. Apart from this, poor interpersonal relationships, men’s problems like premature ejaculation or Erectile Dysfunction can caused a dip in a woman’s desire too. Many women may not be expressive in bed for fear of being mistaken to be over-sexed by the husband.

For the men: Do not judge your partner by your own desire levels. It is in your interest to nurture your mate and show warmth. Seek professional help. for the women: A woman may find it easier to just detach herself from sex given some of the stress she undergoes or for reasons known to her alone, but in the interest of the larger picture the woman has to realise that by being receptive to change and growth and understanding that marriage is a unit she is doing herself a huge favour and restoring peace not only for herself but for everyone concerned. Ice will remain ice in the freezer. Warm it and it will melt. So will a woman under the warmth of her man.

The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com