‘One-night stands are ego boosters’

Ramesh was torn with guilt. His wife was found to have contracted a Sexually Transmitted Infection. The only way she could have got it is through him. He cursed himself for having a one-night stand three months ago. Why do men have one-night stand

Believe it or not, this is a major male sexual fantasy. Survey by a popular magazine indicates that the average male would prefer to have 18 sex partners in his life time! Evolutionary Psychologists are of the opinion that there may be a genetic basis. According to them “men have an evolved desire to fool around.”

In any long standing monogamous relationship, sexual passion dies a natural death due to sexual monotony. In such situations, the fresh flesh rekindles it. This sexual high, especially for the middle- aged, becomes an end in itself. The exhilaration is compounded by the thrill of a novelty. For both men and women, one- night stands may be ego boosters. For men, it is a reward for the career success and achievement. For the middle-aged women it is a reaffirmation of their attractiveness. A mute question may be “Will every man succumb a prey to the temptation when an opportunity arises ”

Anthropologist Helen Fischer in her book Anatomy of Love calls this physiology of adultery. According to her, people respond differently to novelty. Some avoid it. Some seek it out. She calls the latter as “sensation seekers.”

Psychiatric research has found low levels of Monoamine Oxidase, an enzyme in the brain, in the sensation seekers. The reason quoted by the avoiders range from “I am married” to “It is morally wrong” to “I may contract a disease”. My dear men, the best way to avoid this problem is to avoid the encounter itself.

The writer is a sexologist.

Mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com