Not love at first sight

Television actors Barkha Bisht and Indraneil Sengupta talk about how love for them was more gradual than instantaneous.

Barkha Bisht is currently seen playing the protagonist in the newly launched show, Namkarann. Barkha’s real life love story is a far cry from the complex relationship she has with the leading man of her show. For Barkha and her husband Indraneil Sengupta, it was a classic case of opposites attract. If Barkha is an extrovert, Indraneil is reserved. Love happened gradually, and the two decided to get hitched in 2008. In a candid chat, the couple tells us what keeps their relationship going. Edited excerpts from the interview:

Was it love at first sight Barkha: Indraneil and I didn’t really talk much. He was this aloof character while I was this friendly person on the sets. Pyaar Ke Do Naam: Ek Raadha, Ek Shyaam was his first show after his modelling gig, so I had already assumed that as a model, he wouldn’t talk to anybody. But as we continued working in the show, love just happened. It helps that it was a romantic show. Indraneil: No. It took some time for the love to happen. We started off as co-actors and we became friends over time. We fell in love eventually.

So what attracted you to each other Barkha: I think, it is the fact that he was a reserved guy that attracted me to him. I was very curious. But that’s what drew me to him. He came across as this mature guy. As I got to know him better, I realised that he had a great sense of humour. He is also a nice human being. In fact, I always wished to be with such a gentleman in my life. I think that’s what I love the most about him. Indraneil: First, she is an extremely attractive looking woman. I think she is very caring. Plus, she is brutally honest. She is down-to-earth and extremely family-oriented. I could see that she was a settler right from the beginning. I find that quality extremely attractive.

When did you know that you want to get married Barkha: We met a couple of times after the show got over and that’s when it hit us that we are in love. But the shaadi conversation happened on my birthday where Neil got down on his knees with a ring and proposed to me. I finally said yes to him. The shaadi question was something that was going to come up. So when he popped the question, I said yes. Indraneil: I officially proposed to her on her birthday in 2007, and got married in 2008. The two of us value marriage and we thought it was only logical for us to get married after we have been dating for quite some time.

Was the transition from being lovers to becoming life partners, smooth Barkha: Even when we were dating each other, it felt like we belong to each other. That sense of belonging got stronger when we got married. We didn’t have that ‘oh my god now we’re married’, ‘we’re living under the same roof’ moment. Indraneil: It was smooth. But when you start living together, you get to see the other side to the person. Marriage is different — you have to be more giving towards your partner. It’s much more demanding than a relationship.

Does marriage in any way push the friendship out of the window What’s your take Barkha: Everyone says that to be married, you need to be good friends. We knew each other, liked each other and then fell in love. But I wouldn’t say Neil is my best friend. He is a good husband. We share everything with each other. He is my husband, my friend, my father figure — he is everything to me. Indraneil: Not at all. I still feel my best friend is Barkha. I don’t have many friends, I have a few good friends. I believe a best friend I someone with whom you share everything. For me, that person is Barkha.

What’s the one thign you like and dislike about each other Barkha: He is extremely liberal and that makes it so much easier for me. He has never tried to hold me down. The only reason why I am working today is because I have a husband like him. What I don’t like about him is that he is a disciplinarian. It does get irritating at times. He is organised and meticulous about things. He works by the minute, where as I am the opposite. Indraneil: I like that she has a mind of her own. But there are only two things I dislike about her. She can get a little indecisive. She takes her time considering the drawbacks and outcomes of a situation. I find that a little annoying at times because I don’t take a long time to make a decision. Secondly, she is careless — she loses things or probably forgets about them. Other than that, she is perfect.

Who makes peace when the two of you have a fight Barkha: It’s Indraneil. He isn’t someone who likes to have a fight. He doesn’t like that negative space, so he makes up for it. But when I think it’s my fault or if I have done something unreasonable, I make up too. Indraneil: I think there is a golden rule which every guy must follow: the man will make peace. In fact, I think it is a universally accepted fact. But Barkha is really sweet that way, whenever she is at fault or she feels that she can mend something, she makes peace.

If marooned on an island, what are a few things you would like to take along Barkha: If marooned on an island, we would definitely like to take our daughter with us. Food and water comes next. Indraneil: Right now, I would want to take my daughter along. And we would definitely want to leave our phones behind!

When you are away from each other how many times do you end up calling each other Barkha: Indraneil is somebody who likes to stay connected all the time. He calls me like a million times in a day, telling me about what he’s doing every minute of the day. Likewise, I too am a ‘stay connected on the phone’ person. I guess because we spend most of us time shooting, our phone is the only way to stay connected. Indraneil: Many times! In fact, I think she gets a little bugged too! (Chuckles) As I mentioned previously, I feel the need to tell her what happens with me throughout the day. So we stay connected either through calls or texts.

Rapid Fire Endearing names you use for each other Barkha: Mostly I call him ‘baby’ or Neil. Indraneil: I just call her baby. There was a time she started calling me ‘puchu’ (chuckles).

Your ultimate romantic fantasy Barkha: Neil has completed my romantic fantasy by proposing to me on my birthday. Indraneil: There is no other romantic fantasy that we haven’t fulfilled. There are loads of places that we want to get away for romantic holidays, like Scotland, Finland, Norway, there are many places!

Your favourite holiday destination Barkha: I am more of beach person so mine would be Maldives, Mauritius, Bora Bora, etc. Indraneil: Mine will definitely be Europe.