Too young to know

Justifying the ‘A’ rating to the trailer of Aligarh, censor chief Pahlaj Nihalani asked, “Is homosexuality a topic for children and teenagers ” We got educationists, counsellors and equal rights activists to answer that question.

The row over the “A” rating given by the Central Board of Film Certification to the trailer of Aligarh has heated up further. While Aligarh director Hansal Mehta lambasted the board for effectively curtailing the reach of his film (the “A” rating means that the trailer can only be played in theatres with other adult films), the censor chief Pahlaj Nihalani responded to the criticism by calling it a “cheap publicity stunt”. In a statement to PTI, he further added, “The certification we have given to the trailer is according to the content Tell me, is the subject of homosexuality (appropriate) for kids For teenagers ”

We decided to take Mr Nihalani’s question to those who work/deal with children and teenagers — namely counsellors, educationists and parents — and found they had a perspective that might surprise Mr Nihalani.

Renowned psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty has a very simple phrase to explain what ages are appropriate for discussions on sexuality: “From the womb to the tomb”. There are different ways of talking about the subject, says Dr Shetty, pointing out, “Initially it should be about love and acceptance and later, during the adolescent years, it could delve into sexuality. Sadly, sex education is still taboo in India and sexual orientation even more so. We need to start speaking about these things more openly as lack of awareness about these things could cause several problems.”

Dr Shetty believes that 11 is a good age for a child to have discussions about sex and sexuality with his/her parents/trusted authority figures — especially since this is the very age when a child’s body starts going through changes. “The thing with sexuality is, you cannot ‘manufacture’ a gay person. If someone is gay, he or she is simply born that way, so the sooner they come out of ‘the closet’ the better. And as for a movie like Aligarh or a film that deals with topics such as sexuality, it is suitable for any age from 14 onwards,” Dr Shetty says.

Sex education should occur in stages throughout a person’s life, is what psychotherapist and life coach Khyati Birla believes as well. Something like the identification of private parts should be taught as early as when the child is three or four. After a child crosses the age of 10, he/she should be introduced to the concept of hetero/homosexuality, says Khyati, more so because the subject is one that is openly discussed/showcased across various media that a child of this age has access to. In fact, Khyati feels such discussions could be beneficial to children who are beginning to discover their own sexual orientation. “It’s absolutely not fair for children who could be potentially homosexual; in fact, it could be very damaging for them,” says Khyati. “Instead of this kind of rejection, we need to be more open.”

Sheetal Kher, staunch equal rights activist, mom to six-year-old Kabir, and the better half of noted musician Kailash Kher, tells us that their son has been exposed to “all kinds of love”. “For instance, Kabir knows that if Harish mama (LGBTQ activist Harish Iyer) ever gets married, it will be to another man. A child is born brilliant and it is our responsibility to raise him/her to the best of their potential. It makes me angry as a 31-year-old adult tax-paying citizen to be told what my child will be allowed to watch. Is the Censor Board fulfilling the agenda of some narrow-minded people I was appalled see the trailer of Mastizaade while my son was in the theatre to watch Chhota Bheem and Himalayan Adventures!”

Sheetal questions why sexual innuendo, songs with double entendre, bloodshed and violence, animal cruelty etc are presented willy-nilly to children via films, then adds, that as a mother, she would screen the content her son has access to, “on the basis of humanity, and not sexuality”.

“How can they (the censors) be so biased and say that showing a kiss between a guy and a girl is all right but we won’t show two men kissing on screen” This is hypocrisy and not censorship,” she contends.

A lot of children also have an innate understanding and acceptance of sexuality that even adults may struggle with. A case in point is activist Harish Iyer’s three-year-old niece. Harish tells us that when she was introduced to his new boyfriend, she said, “Okay, so you are my mama and he will be my mami.” Harish says that homosexuality should not be thought of as just “sexual union” but also as a manifestation of the reality that love has no boundaries. And this is a concept that “won’t corrupt a child’s mind but will open it,” feels Harish. “I personally believe India is extremely tolerant but Pahlaj Nihalani thinks otherwise. How is it okay to show stuff like Sikka Hilega (Maastizade) but not the Aligarh trailer, which has nothing that can be deemed unfit Suppose I’m making a film on gay teenage suicides, then will that be given an ‘A’ certificate as well ” Harish questions. “Children need to be told about these things because they will grow up to be mature adults. (Else) they will not talk about their sexual orientation knowing that they will be stigmatised. If a 16-year-old guy is getting wet dreams because of a guy it is completely normal!”