Sir, my boyfriend and I have been in love for the last four years. We really love each other but his parents bluntly refused to let us marry. They don’t want him to marry out of his caste. He is into family business and if he marries me, his parents will throw him out of the business and house. He says he can’t live without me but is also unable to convince his parents. Now, I am not sure what to do. I feel guilty about making him leave his family and business for me, and also find it very hard to move on. Please advise me as my parents are also looking for a suitable match for me. Anonymous A. Well, I always emphasise about priorities in such a situation because it is important you know what you want from your relationship. As far as marriage is concerned, you must know that it is about family. It is about stability. It is about friendship and understanding and giving your children love, security and stability and a healthy environment. Either of you convince his parents and tell them how happy you would feel with each other. Also, if you do decide to marry anyway, would you still be patient enough with each other through all your tough times He will have to start over. Would that be alright with him You liked the boy because he comes from a certain background. What if those things about him change Marriage is more than these things and above all it’s about stability. Your parents are an important part of your lives. So you need to consider all of this before you decide what you would like to do.
I got married a year ago. My wife is very pretty and I love her. But I know she is still not over her last relationship, which was five years long. Initally I tried very hard to win her heart. And I think she is finally getting over him. But meanwhile when I felt insecure about her feelings for her last boyfriend I also, out of jealousy, met my ex-girlfriend a few times. Now I talk to my ex regularly and realise how much she needs me. But I am also afraid that if my wife finds out I will lose her forever. I am scared that if I suddenly stop talking to my ex she might tell my wife. Please advise. Amit Sharma
A. Everything in your life, especially relationships, friendships, must have the right intent. Once that is clear in your mind you will know what to do in your life. Being honest might be the best idea. The fear that your ex will tell your wife will ruin your peace of mind and you would end up taking wrong decisions over and over again. If you tell your wife and express to her how truly you are sorry about what you did, you have a great chance of being stable in your marriage. I suggest you speak with her and tell your ex that you are sorry for getting into the situation as well. Be clear. Be mature. Be responsible and take responsibility for your choices. Don’t mess up any further. Readers can send their queries to askanupam@anupamkhercompany.com
