While rings symbolise engagement not only of the couple but also of the families, the trend of promise ring is for the couples to remind each other of their commitment.
Our lives are full of promises. We rarely finish our day without one, whether it’s a quick “I’ll call you back…” or a planned one like “I’ll pick you up at 6am”. Amongst all these ephemeral promises, when the time for the most momentous one comes - “Yes, I will marry you”, people often succumb to societal norms, wanting to give the relationship a tag. While exchanging rings and vows have been the usual customs, the trend of exchanging ‘promise rings’ sounds light as it is about a promise between two individuals and not the entire family.
Not really an engagement ring, it is more of a token of serious commitment between two individuals.
The latest to follow the trend is Priyanka Chopra, who was in India with her rumoured boyfriend Nick Jonas. A photographs of the two, walking out of a dinner, hand-in-hand shows the couple wearing identical rings, making us wonder if these are promise rings.
Contrary to the popular belief, promise rings don’t always lead to marriage. In an age where late marriages are okay and couples are comfortable with not labelling their relationships, many find promise rings more significant than the usual engagement or wedding rings.
For Andrea Rebeiro and Langton Mathias, who have been in a relationship for eight months, a promise ring is a reminder of their commitment to eachother in their long distance relationship. “Our rings aren’t identical but are similar-looking. Ours is a long-distance relationship, so wearing a promise ring just makes things easier. It reminds us that we are committed to each other,” says Andrea.
(Left to right) Era Tak and Dushyant; Identical rings
Jaipur-based couple Era Tak and Dushyat, who have been together for more than nine years, exchanged promise rings (identical) during their courtship and continue to wear them. “We have known each other for long but we weren’t sure about getting married. We also lived in different cities for our work, so we exchanged these rings as this is personal and there are no social boundaries either,” says Era.
Though Andria and her partner are happy having exchanged promise rings, they are not shying away from marriage. “No matter what; we are willing to wait for each other and both of us still believe in marriage,” says Andria.
For, Era and Dushyant, this ring is a soul connecting tool and they consider the same as their wedding ring. “When two people meet and their hearts beat for each other, there should be something that reminds them of their love and identical promise rings show that we are connected and that ties both of us in a lovely bond,” explains Era poetically. She also adds, “You might not be ready to think about a long term commitment like marriage yet, and that is fine. But you might find someone, with whom you are willing to make some kind of commitment. And promise ring is something that works as a gesture.”
Though sharing promise ring was accidental for Pratik Ghogre and Anand Bhosle, they believe their relation is much more liberal and away from all the social stigmas. “My partner’s idea of life was not to get married and to stay with the person just to be with the one. Hence we bought promise rings (identical) for each other so that it only remains with us without any social tags (engagement/marriage) added to that. We love each other and that ring constantly reminds us how truly we are into each other,” says Pratik, adding, “We had bought these rings for other people in our lives that we were dating then. But coincidentally our rings turned out to be the same and later we realised that we are meant for each other.”
Counselling psychologist Dipti Vira speaks in favour of the promise rings as it helps in understanding the other person and leads to a better relationship. “Commitments are lacking in relationships today. People don’t want to have engagement rings and show it to the world, but they believe in having commitment and trust between each other. By sharing promise rings they want to show that they are committed to each other and are in love. So there is something common that binds them together,” says Dipti.
So does that mean trust is missing for the long-term commitment? “In a way yes, but it is like people want to live their life on their own terms, they want to see if the relationship is working well and then want to get married. So trust is like experiencing the whole idea of staying together and then getting married,” she adds.
The counsellor is of the opinion that there is a difference between initial fairytale relationship and lifetime commitment and it is good to have a reality check before marriage. “In the initial days everything looks good but then you realise that both of your preferences are different. Giving a promise ring allows you a little bit of your own experiences and to understand the relationship much better,” explains Dipti.
Not all couples in a serious relationship are ready for an engagement, but this doesn’t mean they aren’t committed and faithful to one another. So when you are to propose to your loved one, try the promise ring to get off the extra pressure.
