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  Entertainment   Bollywood  07 Oct 2017  Whose fault is it anyway?

Whose fault is it anyway?

THE ASIAN AGE. | POOJA SALVI
Published : Oct 7, 2017, 12:00 am IST
Updated : Oct 7, 2017, 12:00 am IST

Even as the Kangana and Hrithik controversy takes a new turn every other day, we look at why men being vulnerable isn't accepted.

Hrithik Roshan and Kangana Ranaut
 Hrithik Roshan and Kangana Ranaut

After lying dormant for a couple of days, the Kangana Ranaut and Hrithik Roshan controversy picks up from where it left off. It was on Thursday that Hrithik broke his silence over the issue. In a statement posted from his official Facebook account, Hrithik said several things. One thing, however, that was highlighted in post: “We want to believe the other party because the rhetoric is — why would a girl lie. (sic)” This statement immediately sparked a debate online — is Hrithik attempting to shift the narrative to his version of events, or are men taken seriously when they share their stories of abuse, mental, sexual or physical?

In Kangana and Hrithik’s controversy, the public opinion has been in favour of the actress. Chances are Hrithik could be telling the truth and Kangana could be lying; or it could be the other way round as well. But, sitting down to dissect this public opinion points out to observations made throughout history — that women have been the exploited sex and not men.

Activist Abha Singh points out that women have always been the weaker sex — the elaborate history of abuse against women is proof of that. “Even every day news will tell you that most crimes are committed against women,” she states, adding, “Therefore, it is extremely difficult to believe it when someone accuses a woman of being a perpetrator.  Following such crimes, the law works to protect the woman,” she says.

Harish Iyer, columnist and activist, who was sexually abused as a child, says that as simple as it sounds, subject of male abuse is complicated. He says, “While we have a history of women abuse, a lot of male abuse goes unreported because of toxic masculinity.”

The years of abuse that women have faced permits public opinion to be in a woman’s favour, explains, author Kiran Manral. While she is extremely careful to pass any rash judgement about the Kangana-Hrithik controversy, she suggests that there is more than what meets the eye in every case. “Our reactions tend to be knee-jerk — we go by headlines, we go by click baits, but we rarely sit back to analyse the situation. Considering the plethora of information around, people tend to go by the most easily available information. This makes it easier to inferring that the woman is the victim, have sympathy for the women,” she says.

Harish, however, suggests that reducing both men and women to statistics of the past is wrong; and that the best way around this is to weigh the facts against each other. “It is better if we don’t reduce men and women to statistics of history, or their gender. What’s more important is we deal with the issue on the basis of the fact — that is what we need to do, that is what needs to be taught too,” he says.

While the activist points that he isn’t one to go pro-woman or pro-man, this issue is different. “It is wrong to assume that the woman is right and the man is wrong. I am not going pro-man or pro-woman since every issue is different,” he says, adding that he is against the deification of women. “I know women do lie and men do lie.”

Tags: kangana ranaut, hrithik roshan, abha singh