Let’s face it. Not everyone is cut out to be an acrobat, trapeze artist, juggler, executive, husband and father all rolled into one. If you aren’t a born gymnast, having a sexual affair along with everything else in your life will turn out to be a lousy experience most of the time.
A balancing act of this kind needs a lot of effort, both mental and physical, and the repercussions aren’t usually very positive. There are a few people who argue that male promiscuity is a primal instinct that reflects nature’s attempt to maximise reproduction. This is why, in almost every culture, men are more into having affairs on the sly than women usually are.
Why affairs aren’t fair in general, whether indulged in by a man or a woman: Sex wrecks friendships. Alternately, friendships might have been wonderful had they not been sexualised. Sex might not be mind-blowing, but the truth is that the object of your affection is just different from your spouse, not necessarily better. Going from bad to worse, having an affair to trigger off a crisis that turns your attention away from your already breaking marriage is convoluted thinking. It’s an endless and expensive list too — the dinners, gifts, hotel rooms and so on. Chill after the thrill. If you don’t know what that means, watch Fatal Attraction!
The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com
