Jaipur: My bua is also my mami and my mama is also my fufa, said Mahendra Dave with a mischievous smile, as if throwing a challenge to solve the riddle. After a pause, he explains that his mother’s brother married to his father’s sister.
This puzzle is nothing but an old practice once prevalent in the Marwar region of Rajasthan. Ninety-year-old, Sunder Devi, the bua and the mami of Mr Dave, says her father had refused to marry her off till her in-laws agreed to marry their daughter to his younger brother who lived in Kharchi — a small village in Pali district that derives its names because salted water.
The custom of marrying sons and daughters among relatives is called aanta-saanta. Since Marwar is an arid zone with scanty rainfall without any perennial river or surface water resource, women had to walk miles to fetch water. It was a tough life, which is why people were not interested in marrying their daughters to men in that area. Thus, locals came up with this formula for finding brides for their sons.
The custom somewhat faded as things improved due to growth and development of irrigation and transportation facilities but unlike western Rajasthan, which is naturally dry, the problem of growing bachelorhood — due to brides’ refusal to wed men living in parched areas — has much to do with government apathy.
One such area is chief minister Vasundhara Raje’s home district Dholpur. People in Rajghat village here had not witnessed a wedding in more than two decades until 23-year-old Pawan Kumar brought his bride from Madhya Pradesh on April 29.
Just five km from district headquarter, situated on the banks of the Chambal river, Rajghat lacked roads, electricity supply and water pipelines. No wonder people preferred not to marry their daughters to men in the village.
A medical student in Jaipur’s SMS College and native of Dholpur, Ashwani Parashar, moved a public interest litigation in the Rajasthan high court on the poor civic conditions in Rajghat last year and wrote letters to the Prime Minister’s Office. He also launched a social media campaign with hashtag #SaveRajghat. Following which things improved a bit — a kachcha road and community toilets were built, solar lamps supplied and water filters installed with the help of donors and crowd funding.
“I am happy that my son has got married. The entire village was rejoicing and the people congratulated him,” said Pawan Kumar’s father Darshan Lal.
However, in the adjoining Bharatpur and Alwar districts thousands of eligible bachelors, some them in their 40s, are still waiting to get married.
Member of Bharatpur Zila Parishad Nem Singh Faujdar said, “Water scarcity has not just affected our crops but our lives. There are many bachelors in the area because parents are not ready to marry their daughters here.”
He had written a letter to Prime Minister Narendra Modi last year to resolve the water crisis in the area.
Rajasthan’s only perennial river Chambal runs through Kota. But, here too, many young men in villages have been facing the same problem. “Pani nai hoba su beto na parnayo. ghana chora aiya hi ghum riya che. (My son couldn’t get married because of water scarcity in the village. There are many boys like him),” said Nathi bai in Bangori village.
