Nothing is more important for happiness than a close warm network of family and friends. Dean Ornish has suggested through the last 40 years of research, that close bonding with such a network can protect the heart. Today, Facebook and other digital systems help us to make ‘friends’. But here, we are talking about close bonds with people who love us unconditionally.
How to maintain such networks: Respecting the person is key. Verbal abuse or even non-verbal abuse can be as bad as any other kind of disrespect. Respect your loved ones even when they are at their worst. Giving them positive affirmations like, ‘What I really like about you,’ can build your bond with them. When they do something that really upsets you, start the conversation with, ‘What I have always liked about you is... but I have a concern about what you did today. How can we solve this ’ Regular communication, if possible face to face meetings, can add to the bonding. During the coming months, get to know your neighbours, people in your building and if possible, people on your street. Families and close friends should have a similar code of values, usually. Having a common goal with regard to key issues can be very helpful. Get in touch with the people who have the same taste in entertainment. Join or start a book club or a movie club. Sometimes a different world view can enhance your experience by introducing totally different genres. Honesty is very helpful in building such networks. Talk clearly when you don’t like something. ‘No man is an island,’ said the tragic poet John Donne. All of us need a warm network of positive relationships to enjoy our complete humanness.
The writer is the author of Everyday Happiness Mantras
