Salaphaty Rao of Indian origin and John McCane, an American citizen, broke barriers when they decided to get engaged in a traditional South Indian ceremony
Could we have scripted a better story to commemorate the LGBT Pride Month They met on a Facebook group. They fell in love. They got engaged. Sounds like any other new-age love story Not really. This gay couple went against all odds, breaking all barriers and got engaged in a traditional South Indian way.
Salaphaty Rao, 22, a Malaysian Indian with his roots in Vishakhapatnam of Andhra Pradesh met John McCane, 28, a banker from Ohio, USA on the Facebook group, LGBT Hindus Satsang. The duo, who became friends on the social media platform did not speak to each other for a few weeks, Salaphaty says.
“John added me on Facebook, and it was our common interest in spirituality and religion that flourished into love,” Salaphaty reminisces. South Indian culture is “rich and unique,” and growing up in a strong cultural environment, cultural values were deeply embedded in him. That is why they had a very traditional engagement ceremony, states Salaphaty.
Unlike a few individuals who have a hard time coming out of the closet because of social constraints, this couple’s families have rallied behind them.
“My mom was supportive from the start. I have shared everything with her. She accompanied me to get our engagement rings. My dad, on the other hand, took some time to accept it. When we were engaged, he appeared happy but inwardly he was still on the fence. That was till he met John and was convinced that John was a great son-in-law,” Salaphaty fondly recalls.
“We were surprised with the number of people who congratulated and invited themselves to our wedding. We thought they wouldn’t accept us,” he says, adding that the only way to fight the prejudice that exists against the LGBT community across the world is by educating people on the matter.
The recent Orlando shooting, where many LGBT individuals were killed by an armed assailant, was distressing, John says, adding that possibly the shooter, who is said to have hid his sexuality, was fighting his own mind. He recalls, “I remember being a teen, and realising that I liked other men. But I fought and suppressed it due to the conservative atmosphere I was in.” John says.
Things are different now. “I am exactly how I was meant to be and I am proud of it,-" he says with joy and pride. John opines that while many societies can show prejudices against homosexuals, the times are changing, and soon there will be an equal world.
“Ignorance and fear are why many of us show prejudices against a certain group. Until recently, many of us were closeted and therefore in most people’s eyes we were an oddity. Today it is changing,” he says.
“We both have dreamed of a perfect South Indian wedding but we aren’t sure of when it will be. We are planning to have it within a year or two,” Salaphaty adds, “When society looks down upon you, be the change for which the same society will look up to you. This will break the misconceptions surrounding homosexuality.”
