Relationship experts suggest ways to keep the power games at bay when both partners have high-profile professional lives
Bill Clinton this week raised the bar for husbands and boyfriends everywhere as he swooned over Hillary and her achievements while giving a speech at the Democratic National Convention. The Internet went into a tizzy raving about his never seen before candour. While Bill Clinton isn’t used to being the second act, he comfortably slipped into the role for his wife. Maintaining a successful relationship when both the partners are equally driven and powerful may be a challenge as power is an absolutely corruptible element and has the ability to burn anything in sight feels life coach Chetna Mehrotra. “Couples in powerful positions often face issues. When you are powerful at work, it becomes a little difficult to not have the kind of power at home. But it’s best if one keeps his or her power at the doorstep before entering the homes, otherwise monsters like ego, hurt, pride, etc will surface and relationships don’t work well in their presence,” she says.
Having a partner in the same field however, is more likely to trigger a sense of professional rivalry, as both partners might start competing with each other. Even if the swords aren’t out in the open. “Ego clashes are bound to unfold in the same field because there will be a difference of opinion at some point in time. When it comes to couples, they have an emotional connect, but when in the same field, the goal or task becomes more important than the relationship. And often human nature is such that we forget to nurture the people involved to achieve the goal and hence small difference of opinions if not addressed or resolved with maturity, can lead to massive conflicts,” life coach Veechi Shahi explains.
However, avoiding it is easier than one thinks. “When ego strikes, it blurs your vision but the idea is to dodge it. Think of the reason you have your partner in your life, how it was when they first met you and what you thought of them. These things will put your ego in its place,” Chetna says.
Relationship counsellor Dr Minu Bhonsle has often come across cases where when a woman of the house earns more than the man, it leads to conflicts. However, the quarrel over who makes the extra pennies shouldn’t be the bone of contention when love prevails, she warns. “That’s a disorder people often suffer from in a relationship. I have often come across cases where the wife earns more than the husband and this leads to petty quarrels. When the concept of ‘your money’ and ‘my money’ seeps in the relationship, problems are bound to arise. It should always be ‘our’ money — it is how both the partners in a relationship should think regardless how much each one earns, she adds.
