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  Life   More Features  01 May 2019  Women & Infidelity

Women & Infidelity

THE ASIAN AGE. | SOLENE PAILLET
Published : May 1, 2019, 2:26 am IST
Updated : May 1, 2019, 2:26 am IST

Nearly four out of 10 women in India feel flirting with strangers leads to greater intimacy with husbands.

This is why books like Fifty Shades of Grey are read almost exclusively by women.
 This is why books like Fifty Shades of Grey are read almost exclusively by women.

Adultery is a truth which is known to all but it’s surprising how the Indian society seems to be oblivious about it. This ignorance and acceptance for the matter also reflects on their biased approach towards this male dominant society in which the word ‘taboo’ is more often than not used for the female section of the society if they get indulged into adultery. But, if a male does it, he can get away easily, why?

Women have always been objectified. They have been used as commodities, pleasure objects, home-makers and what not for centuries now. But when it comes to her needs, her requirements and desires, where can she go now? If she tries the road-often travelled by her male counterparts, she might have to go through serious societal pressure. Soothing companionship, both at an intimate and an emotional level is a requirement for both men and women and people should start addressing this fact.

The phenomenon of adulterous women isn’t new, yet women who cheat aren’t necessarily driven by primal urges as men are. Women who commit adultery do so to find emotional intimacy and unlike men aren’t stimulated exclusively by sexual experiences. Rather than being stimulated by pornography like men, women are aroused by a romance that is laden with emotion. This is why books like Fifty Shades of Grey are read almost exclusively by women.

However a woman who has committed adultery isn’t necessarily in love. In fact, a recent survey reveals that about 47 per cent of women who committed adultery weren’t in love with the man they were having an affair. The same survey revealed men were even less likely to be in love with the women they were having an affair with.

While the stereotype that women need to be in an emotional relationship to respond sexually is true, a woman need not be in love with the man with whom she’s having an affair. There are multiple reasons why a woman may commit adultery:
 
Out of Boredom
A survey revealed about 77 per cent of women who committed adultery did so out of boredom. After years of marriage, sex with the same partner may grow dull and women, who’re more emotionally driven than men, may feel their lives lack excitement.

Women in urban India who suffer from boredom in their existing marriage can easily spice up their lives by finding a lover outside marriage.

Husbands Don’t Do Chores
Indian women don’t want equality of the sexes to be paid lip service to. Increasingly, women want their husbands to perform household chores. In a recent survey it was revealed that 7 out 10 women cheated on their husbands because they didn’t do household chores.

 When a husband does household chores it reassures his wife that he is committed and an equal stakeholder, strengthening the emotional bond.

Adultery & Marriage
Nearly four out of 10 Indian women said flirting with strangers led to greater intimacy with their husbands. Hence, some women commit adultery because it strengthens their marriage. The idea that adultery can strengthen a marriage isn’t new. Many couples in India incorporate others into their sexual fantasies. Some just go a bit further. A husband, who doesn’t find his wife as attractive as he did early in his marriage, may get a thrill when he learns other men consider her desirable. Therefore, some women commit adultery to reignite the spark in their marriage.

Runs in the Family
Despite their quarrels, most families have similar tendencies. It was revealed that 46 per cent of adulterous women were raised in families where a parent had committed adultery.  

Getting Even
Many women commit adultery to get back at husbands who cheated on them.

(The author works with Gleeden, extramarital dating site)

Tags: adultery, fifty shades of grey, infidelity, emotional intimacy