Prospective parents who are opting for adoption will no longer be allowed to “pick and choose” and can only accept or reject the child offered by the national adoption body. The new rule came into effect on May 1. As of now, parents used to register with the government’s adoption portal, Carings, and were referred up to three children, from which they could pick one. Although from now, parents will be referred only one child. The idea is to discourage commodification of adoptable children where parents can pick and choose.
We speak to parents who have already gone through the process of adoption and prospective parents about what they think of this, if the aim to discourage commodification of children can be achieved.
‘The concept of choosing your son or daughter does seem bizarre’
Sriya Rao, Holistic Practice Facilitator
The concept of choosing your son or daughter does seem bizarre, like shopping for the best option. Ideally, the child most in need of a loving home is connected to adopting parents. Then again, it’s important for the parents to be aware of some medical background of the child, so they can be well equipped to give it the best care.
‘A child can never be equated with a commodity’
Viiveck Verma, Co Founder DiSRUPPt Thinking and father of two adopted girls
When a child is born biologically, the parents don’t get to choose what will be born to them. They love their child irrespective of how the child looks or is. In fact, they go to any lengths to ensure the child is safe and healthy. Adoption is no different. It is a mindset not an activity. Discouraging the parents from picking and choosing ensures that the child gets the same unconditional love as a biological parent would give. It then encourages only those parents who are prepared to give a child their all and are prepared to face anything for this child. A child can never be equated with a commodity and hopefully this positive move will discourage those who choose a child on skin colour or looks, similar to choosing a gadget on its attributes and features. Very glad to see this very progressive initiative.
‘It is a great move because it will indeed reduce the commodification’
Kunal Kohli, director
It is only fair that you are not allowed to choose the child you want to adopt because when you give birth to a child, you are not allowed to choose the child. It is a great move because it will indeed reduce the commodification. I think you should not be allowed to choose the sex if the child unless you specifically want a girlchild. As an adoptive parent myself, I feel if you are having a child through IVF or through adoption, you should not have the right to choose and let the process and the child choose you.
‘Showing only one baby is not the right way’
Sandip Soparrkar, Ballroom dancer and Bollywood choreographer
Adoptive kids are born out of the heart and that should be connected. Although all kids are beautiful, there is always a case of bonding that one feels when we meet someone new. Especially if you are planning to adopt a kid that bonding of love stretches to a lifetime. It’s ok to show one baby at a time, if not all three together, but showing only one baby is not the right way.
Each parent has a dream of a baby; an adoptive baby should fit into that dream. One should not compare it with the biological baby as that case is totally different.
‘Earlier, kids were offered like a commodity in the market’
Deepak S. P., General secretary, Kerala State Council For Child Welfare
I feel it is a good change. Earlier adopters were getting three options and they were free to select anyone from those. Now, there is no such options. Earlier, kids were offered like a commodity in the market where a customer could choose according to their wish. In fact, it was not a good practice and I am very happy to see this change. There were many factors prompted them to select kids. Now they have to keep all those factors away from their wishlist and accept the offer. Otherwise they have to wait for atleast 90 days to get the second option.
‘This new provision might not prove to be error free’
A. Narayanan, Director, Change India and an adoptive parent
I’m myself an adoptive parent; I had my own child, but really wanted to adopt also. Often, couples who wish to adopt, come with many specifications like they only want a boy, the baby should be fair skinned and more. So, they go for something like ‘baby shopping’, where they go to one adoption centre after the other, and find their best option. In fact, sometimes they even return the baby if they think he or she is not the right one. So keeping all this in mind, solid measures have to be taken. There is nothing called a perfect solution, but we should keep evolving through trial and error methods. Even this new provision might not prove to be error free. But, we should keep looking for what would work. At a time when the demand is high and the number of babies for adoption is less, this is in fact a good move. But what the government should be doing along with this is create a huge awareness programme among people regarding adoption — that’s the most crucial thing.
