Assume that you are at a fair where on offer are different thoughts instead of a variety of items. Which are the items you would instinctively identify with and gravitate toward from the likes of — “anger”, “hatred”, “worry”, “pleasure”, “forgiveness”? Chances are that forgiveness would figure lower down that list of choices.
Mostly we resist forgiving and the reason behind it is we really don’t understand what forgiveness is and how it works in our life. Forgiveness is extremely difficult, but it can be the greatest gift if one is really willing to give it. With an attitude of forgiveness, even in the toughest situation, one can live a healthier, calmer and more librated life.
For our own peace, we need to forgive. Holding on to past wounds and grudges is a very heavy burden to carry. The longer we hold on to the grudge, the more power we give to our past. We owe it to ourselves to move on in life and establish an identity apart from them. Forgiveness is the best way to remove their ability to hurt us.
The grudges and hurt feelings which we keep within us cause harmful emotions to stay on as residual distortion in our cellular memory. These distortions are seeds of disease.
Most of us believe that if we forgive our offenders, they will be happy and move on in their life while we unfairly suffer from their actions. Sometimes we may think that we have to be responsive with them again, or go back to the old relationship. While forgiving others is a virtue, it does not mean that we continue trusting those who dishonored our trust or even like being around those who hurt us.
We can experience peace when we understand the importance of forgiveness and open ourselves to forgive others.
Ways to seek forgiveness:
Ask for forgiveness directly. Strengthen the thought of forgiveness by saying: “Please forgive me for the wound I caused you through my words, actions, feelings or thoughts. I will surely not repeat the mistake.” When we ask forgiveness directly, the soul is purified and one can feel deep relaxation.
There are times when we are not comfortable asking for forgiveness directly, even though we realise our mistake. For this situation one can seek forgiveness mentally. Repeat in mind by visualising the person: “I ask for forgiveness from you. Please forgive me for the hurt I caused you through my words, actions, feelings or thoughts.”
Sometimes we do have feelings of hatred or grudges against someone in our mind because of their behaviour. For this, one can seek forgiveness mentally.
To forgive one’s self is most important towards living a peaceful and healthier life. To forgive self, just repeat: “I forgive myself, I release all my hurt feelings and grudges, I surrender to the Divine and ask for forgiveness, as whatever happened was due to some incontinent circumstances and lack of my understanding to understand them.”
Forgiveness helps one grow spiritually and detaches one from the bondage of karma. Let compassion flow, one silent breath at a time. First, with self, and then for the person who hurt you. One needs to have empathy with that person’s motivations, emotions and circumstances. It’s necessary but challenging to put oneself in that person’s shoes and view the situation from their perspective.
Daily we need to forgive oneself and the other person who made you feel bad due to his/her behaviour before going to sleep. This act of forgiveness helps one remain calm and frees from the bondage of others’ karmas.
The writer is an alternative medicine practitioner
