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Sex in the locked-down city

As the world locks down, bedroom doors are opening, rekindling romance or will too much proximity hinder the relationship?

When Emmeline (played by Brooke Shields) and Richard (played by Christopher Atkins) find themselves marooned on an island somewhere in the Pacific ocean in the 1980-romance adventure film The Blue Lagoon, they adapt themselves to staying close to the nature and getting used to each other. With nowhere to go and nothing much to do, they discover love and sex.

If you are one of those who fantasised about living The Blue Lagoon life but thought the hectic work schedules, ungodly hour of shifts and over-time and work-related stress played a spoilsport, this COVID-19-led lockdown situation may simply be the answer to all of your sexual fantasy.

And going by the pictures Brooklyn Beckham, the son of David and Victoria Beckham, has been posting of him and his actress girlfriend Nicola Peltz of late on his Instagram, clearly “it’s Kama Sutra show and tell”, as Charlie Puth croons in his Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on.

The pictures show them getting even cosier while self-isolating together in Nicola’s huge New York apartment.

While the world over is facing a “war like situation” as it tries to combat a dreadful pandemic, a lot seems to be happening between the sheets in the bedrooms during the lockdown period.

Love under lockdown

Relationship expert Dr Nisha Khanna, who admits that during a lockdown such as this, intimacy levels go up among compatible couple. “Lifestyle is one of the reasons couple spend lesser time being intimate with each other. We live in a materialistic world. Added to it, in the metropolitan cities especially the fast-paced life, along with high ambitions, it’s difficult for couples to manage both the house and work. It ends up in couples mostly setting aside lesser time and energy to getting intimate,” adds Dr Nisha.

Dr Nisha then sums up saying that while there are couples who have managed to strike a balance between pursuing solo activities and enjoying each other’s company, the lockdown and the resulting proximity would create more rift between non-compatible couple if they won’t handle issues in a constructive way.

As per Dr Sharmila Majumdar, a consultant sexologist and psychoanalyst, couples who were too busy with their professional lives are now finding time and getting closer. “Couples confined to their homes, away from office and other such distractions, are finding solace in each other in these anxious times,” says Dr Sharmila.

Dr Sharmila also believes that lockdown life has got compatible couples to spend a lot more time together than usual, with couples reframing the meaning of intimacy and sex. In fact, she says there is something beyond just intimacy couples are discovering a new level of commitment now.

“They are being more candid and patient and nicer to each other,” she adds. “And some of them are going out of their way to be kind to each other, letting the small things slide. It is as if this national lockdown has offered many couples a chance to rekindle their relationships. I know of a few couples who seem happy to be locked up at home with each other. And they have been using this downtime to find new and creative ways to connect with each other.”

Locked down in a struggle

Despite the cheer of a healthier sex life showing up, thanks to the lockdown, sex therapist Dr Narayana Reddy cautions that too much closeness can also hinder the kind of intimacy sought in sex unless there is a deeper relationship playing at the core.

“This may be God-given opportunity for all couples to rediscover their emotional and physical relationship with resilience and to rebuild intimacy,” he says. “But for some, too much proximity can be counterproductive and sometimes boring. That is why online dating applications are doing roaring business too. There is no point in increasing the proximity without strong relationships.”

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