The 1967 movie The Graduate has been kindling the fantasies of many men about having sex with older women since ages. May — December relationships, in which there’s a big age gap between the partners, can be rewarding — and also challenging. In some ways, a relationship between younger men and older women would seem to be a neat fit, sexually speaking, because of the widely accepted notion that men tend to reach a sexual peak in their late teens, while women peak later, in their early thirties. But this notion may not be true.
An older woman lubricates slowly than a younger woman. Hence, she will require more foreplay or an artificial lubricant. In contrast, the younger man will have difficulty in delaying his ejaculation until she is satisfied.
On the upside, she is likely to be more aroused quickly, by a firm young male body than the body of a man of her own age. Also a younger man will be able to get another erection at a very short interval. So he can perform more times than an older man. A younger man’s erections are more rigid than an older man’s.
However, these sexual differences are relatively minor and nothing that cannot be overcome.
Dr Ira Reiss, professor of sociology at the University of Minnesota is of the opinion that the most important thing about these “intergenerational relationships” is not sex at all. She says, “What really matters is what else besides sex have got these two going?”
What may be harder to overcome than physical differences is the social stigma attached to these relationships. But do remember that relationships are more important than physicality and age.
The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com
