Monday, Aug 10, 2020 | Last Update : 10:41 PM IST

139th Day Of Lockdown

Maharashtra51533235171017757 Tamil Nadu2969012386384927 Andhra Pradesh2278601387122036 Karnataka178087939083198 Delhi1454271305874111 Uttar Pradesh122609726502069 West Bengal95554671202059 Bihar7972051315429 Telangana7949555999627 Gujarat71064542382652 Assam5883842326145 Rajasthan5249738235789 Odisha4592731785321 Haryana4163534781483 Madhya Pradesh3902529020996 Kerala3433121832109 Jammu and Kashmir2489717003472 Punjab2390315319586 Jharkhand185168998177 Chhatisgarh12148880996 Uttarakhand96326134125 Goa871259575 Tripura6161417641 Puducherry5382320187 Manipur3752204411 Himachal Pradesh3371218114 Nagaland27819048 Arunachal Pradesh215514823 Chandigarh151590425 Meghalaya10624906 Sikkim8664971 Mizoram6082980
  Life   Relationship  12 Jul 2019  Pop in for tea

Pop in for tea

Published : Jul 12, 2019, 1:43 am IST
Updated : Jul 12, 2019, 1:43 am IST

Friendships comes with agendas and motives, but there do exist some that are true, strong and last forever.

A great source of real friendships are bonds made at school and college when you met people as  equals and without  the to extract  something from  your ‘friends’.
 A great source of real friendships are bonds made at school and college when you met people as equals and without the to extract something from your ‘friends’.

‘If you were to ask me for one craving I have in this dreamy monsoon season it would be to meet a few real friends over tea. No agenda, no reason, just a happy bonding on a cloudy beautiful day. Is this even a reality today?  In these times when most relationships come with so many agendas and props real bonds are very rare. But that impromptu ‘dropping in’ to each other’s homes (even with real bonds) is an even bigger rarity. The impromptu plans and meets that had a charm of their own are so precious and rare. That unplanned joie de vivre of many cups of tea and laughter for no reason?

In an age of internet friendships that are made and broken in a click, instant coffee, instant popcorn here we are seeking instant gratification in instant make and break friendships that come with benefits? The right address, the right car, the right surname, lots of favors with the friendship? Today many just tend to bumble and stumble into friendships without becoming comrades, without building bonds, whether there is a rapport or not we're just looking at agendas and favours. And what’s left in this new world of instancy we find ourselves in? That we have a gaping lacuna with hours of being lonely internet junkies. They say one of the greatest causes of depression today are these hours alone on the internet. Friendships, arguments and imminent break ups just happen in that blink of an eye that in the yesteryear took decades to achieve because they were made for all the wrong reasons.


Such are the by-products of instancy. So strong is the desire to be in a state of opportunistic friendships that love, warmth and true bonds are very scarce and so very precious. Opportunity glares brightly at the prospect of a 'friend' and at that moment all analysis and vision is blurred and all the warning signals of disaster are quashed and justified in the mind.

Social ‘mwah mwah’ do’s that are so hankered after by many leave one often feeling empty and longing for real conversations and laughter. As transitory and superficial as the smiles & epithets of love & endearments. Something has gone askew in our priorities and perspectives that to me, if not addressed, would seem to threaten the very wellbeing and joy that we so seek in our pursuit of meaning in life. I also attribute the proliferating anxiety and stress in our times to the dearth of true friends.


A great source of real friendships are bonds made at school and college when you met people as equals and without the desire to extract something from your ‘friends’. I recently met some school friends after years, we had moved over time into such varying occupations.

Some had gone up in life and some were home makers. We'd change somewhat in appearance. A waif had developed girth and what looked like a faint moustache. But did any of these criteria rob any of the old bonhomie. Not a whit! It was as if time didn’t exist! We laughed and ragged each other with old barbs, and laughter ruled the roost as we held forth through a rambunctious lunch that prolonged into tea and an afternoon as carefree as I had in a long, long time. We lent support to unhappy tales, felt proud of achievements, wanted the tiniest of details of the lives and as I write I exult in the affirmation that the Dodo & friendship are not interchangeable words


Is the day around the corner when every ‘friend’ will be weighed in the scales of ‘use’ or worse, profit & loss? Even as I shudder at the thought & thank God  for the friends I  have and love, I tell myself to ‘think positive’ & behold, the mind gets a cheerful turn-about as  I remember some warm and wonderful friends that have made life special. And yet a part of me craves those days of casual impromptu 'drop in's' and meetings with no reason and agenda.

The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at

Tags: internet friendship