When appointments have to be rescheduled it is often sex that’s left behind.
Kamini muttered to herself, sniffing, slicing the onions harder on the chopping board, wishing it were her husband instead. Kamini swore when the knife found her finger instead. Smothering a curse, Kamini sat down on the table holding her head, dissolving into tears. A good an half hour, a box of tissues and the reason came out. “My husband is dozing off even as we are having sex. He doesn’t love me anymore!”
In an era of men falling asleep before attempting sex or after sex, here’s a new breed of men, falling asleep even while having sex! Ask them why and pat comes the reply - tired!
Chronic over scheduling, overwork, stress, traveling, meeting targets and deadlines etc are an intrinsic part of urban life. And we have allowed it to dribble on to our personal lives too. One takes appointments to meet his own wife. When appointments have to be rescheduled it is often sex that’s left behind.
Fatigue and ‘lack of time’ seems to be the common vindication. Fatigue and stress do inhibit desire and arousal. Physical exhaustion alone cannot be blamed here, mental exhaustion is equally treacherous. Exhaustion is not gender oriented, but it is often the man who is targeted.
Last things first: Do not attempt sex at night as a last thing after a hard day at work. Try it in the morning or when you feel refreshed and charged.
Make an appointment: In real life spontaneous sex is more an exception than a rule. If you wait for it to happen it may never happen. Work to make it happen.
Don’t binge: Pub’s happy hours may prove to be sad hours for you. Similarly making love after a heavy meal may actually be disastrous.
Try room-service: Try and have frequent vacations. You will actually find your zeal resurfacing. No miracle this. The 21st century syndrome of overwork, stress and fatigue are swept under the carpet during vacationing!
Med-check: Sometimes overwork alone may not be the cause. It may be due to other health defects like anemia, vitamin deficiency, side effects of medicines, or over enthusiastic workouts at the gym. So have periodic check ups.
The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana @deccanmail. com