Often people wonder if they are really with the person they want to spend the rest of the their lives with.
Scientists all over the world are researching the extremely complicated issues surrounding love and relationships and they have spent thousands of hours trying to figure out how people fit together and what qualities they need to bring into a relationship to make it a happy and lasting one.
According to a story published in The Independent, here are fourteen such qualities of a woman which should help you decide is she really is the one for you.
She is smarter than you: While looking for a partner, make sure she is smart or better still, smarter than you. Lawrence Whalley, professor emeritus of the University of Aberdeen has been researching dementia for a long time and he found that a smart woman can protect you from dementia later in life.
A smart partner never stops challenging you intellectually, which helps you keep your mental faculties keen forever.
She is honest: Studies show that men want to have an honest partner by their side when they look for a long term committed relationship. If you have found a woman like that, never let her go again.
She has a positive outlook: Negative people are toxic and bad for our health in the long run. A partner with a positive outlook could make life a whole lot better. According to a research conducted by psychologist Elaine Hatfield, internalized negativity can lead to increased heart rate, it impedes our digestion and lowers our concentration.
She compromises: It is perfectly okay for partners to disagree, but a relationship can only work if both partners are willing to compromise.
Psychologists of the UCLA have accompanied 172 married couples for 11 years and came to a simple conclusion: “It’s easy to be committed to your relationship when it’s going well,” said senior study author Thomas Bradbury. “As a relationship changes, however, shouldn’t you say at some point something like, ‘I’m committed to this relationship, but it’s not going very well — I need to have some resolve, make some sacrifices and take the steps I need to take to keep this relationship moving forward.”
She laughs at your jokes: In 2006 a study by psychologists of Westfield State University suggested that having a partner who thinks they are funny is more important for men than for women.
She has an open heart: A study by the University of Westminster suggests that people who are open hearted and share personal information are seen as especially attractive. The authors of the study even say that this quality is so important that people will judge the physical appearance of open hearted people as more handsome or beautiful.
She supports your goals and pursues her own: Christine C. Whelan in her book ‘Why smart men marry smart women’, thoroughly debunks this myth and proves with statistics that successful, well educated and high earning women do not marry less often than others.
Furthermore, a weak person often tends to forget his or her own goals. These people don’t just prioritise the goals of their partners, they tend to co-opt them completely. This has been shown by a study of the University of British Columbia. You need a healthy combination of personal goals and goals you pursue together.
She has a good relationship with her parents: Researchers of the University of Alberta questioned 2970 people of all ages and saw a clear correlation between the relationship to the parents in their teen years and their love life later on.
She is kind: Science says that the keys to a long and happy relationship are kindness and generosity. Psychologist John Gottmann of the University of Washington started his research on married couples over four decades ago.
He identified two kinds of couples: Masters and Disasters. The disasters, you guessed it, break it off in the first six years of the relationship. But the masters stay together for a long time and always have this one thing in common: “They are scanning social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. They are building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully,” he said in an interview with The Atlantic.
She remains calm in fights and calms you down too: Fights are an inevitability of all relationships. Never disagreeing is not a sign of a stable relationship. But the important thing is how you deal with disagreements and how you make up again after.
Researchers of the University of California Berkeley and Northwest University have accompanied 80 couples for 13 years and they found out that a relationship will last the longest if the woman can calm herself during a fight and transfer those emotions to the man. The effect is not the same if the man is the one to calm down first.
She does foolish things with you: A long term study of the University of Michigan with 4864 married individuals showed that the happiest couples where those who drank alcohol together or did leisure activities together.
She has a life of her own: Having your own space and privacy is even more important for your relationship than a good sex life. This has been shown by a long term study of the University of Michigan. “When individuals have their own friends, their own set of interests, when they are able to define themselves not by their spouse or relationship, that makes them happier and less bored,” Terry Orbuch, author of the study, said in an interview with The Wall Street Journal.
She accepts your flaws: Too many relationships only seem to consist of one partner criticizing the other. If you have found a woman who can just accept you, you should consider yourself lucky.
She does not bear grudges: If you found a woman who can forgive others, you will have her by your side for a long time. A study by researchers of the Luther College, the Duke University, and the Harvard Divinity School showed that people who can unconditionally forgive others live longer lives.
