Men are accused of being clumsy lovers but the reality is that women do not know how to treat men either. The US based Men’s Health magazine conducted a survey, questioning ‘In your experience what is it about men’s sexuality that women don’t understand?’ Few strong themes emerged. Men shared six broad frustrations. Here we go men:
We get turned on by visual stimulation. She needs to be stroked to get turned on. What she doesn’t understand is that ‘I have already been stroked by her figure and I don’t want to indulge in sweet nothings.’ We want the lights on to see them but they want to hide under the sheets. Sex is physical. Men want sex whereas women want romance. ‘I want Basic Instinct but she wants Mills & Boon.’ Why can’t women separate sex and love?
We fool around and then fall in love. We are told we are penis centric. Women don’t understand that the penis is attached to the heart. Regardless of the physical nature of our sex drive, sooner or later our hearts get entangled.
Men are also sentimental. ‘We just need someone to help us out of our shell.’ We need feedback during sex. We are not inconsiderate lovers, we are just confused. We need instructions. We are not mind readers and women are too shy. They allow us to do what we want and then complain they are not getting what they want.
We want women on top. Men want women to play an active role in bed. Men like to be seduced. A great male fantasy is women taking charge and acting slutty.
We want women to understand us. We too like to be touched and caressed. We too want to feel wanted. Women think that a way to a man’s heart is through the stomach, but the way to a man’s heart is to adore and chase. Men and women are alike except for a couple of plumbing differences. Ladies! Are you listening?
The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana @deccanmail. com
