By now, we’ve all heard of, and perhaps are afflicted by, “FOMO” — the “fear of missing out” on something, anything, on social networking sites. Symptoms include reaching out for wifi and 4G-enabled devices every free moment during the day, and at times at night, when the compulsion to check into social media is strong enough to disrupt sleep.
The fear that one is missing out on exciting things that are happening right this instant, and which everybody else is a part of, is certainly not a new one. It stems in part from the need to connect and participate, and in part from the human proclivity to show off, be one up on others. The tablets and smartphones, and the attention manipulative technology employed by social media companies, certainly did not invent the problem. What they have done is exacerbate it by giving human beings the wherewithal, and the encouragement, to constantly be in each other’s faces and lives.
Connected devices constantly sync with social media and bring the worlds of friends, acquaintances and random people one has never met but follows, right into every minute of our day. A steady stream of information about others’ activities and concerns feeds itself into our minds. Instant information fires the brain into an equally instant reactive mode — like, dislike, hate, wish, want. And which also leads one to package one’s life for social media consumption, rather than being in the moment and living it for what it is.
In order to wean oneself from the fear of missing out, one must cultivate its exact opposite — the joy of missing out. To do this would require a conscious attitudinal shift towards greater mindfulness in general, and while dealing with FOMO triggers in particular.
Mindfulness is basic awareness of that which is, in this moment. It is being conscious of all that is passing through the mind in the present moment, without comment, reaction or debate. There is neither grasping nor pushing away. The mind is like a stream of phenomena that can be watched, as a witness, not as a doer or actor. When emotions arise, they are also watched, as are thoughts and ideas, without being labeled. In this state one is in balance, the grasping and tightening recedes, and slowly one finds the mind coming to rest.
To be mindful, to live mindfully, means to find this state of natural rest in each moment of the day. Of course, initially, it is only possible to do this perhaps in sitting meditation. Gradually, by bringing a similar quality of attention to every task and chore, each action could offer an opportunity to be mindful, even social networking. Knowing that each moment is perfect as it is, whether or not it is on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, is central to “JOMO”. The less the content of each moment, the more time there is to fully connect with oneself in that moment.
