Many young men undergo severe anxiety neurosis with regard to their sexual performance. None in this world can claim that they are not beset with doubts and anxiety in this regard. And anxiety about failure in bed can be so overpowering that it can ruin their sex life.
Performance anxiety in men can cause Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, Retarded Ejaculation etc. In women it may cause lack of lubrication, Orgasmic Dysfunction and painful intercourse. The three principal enemies of sexual satisfaction are anxiety, fear and guilt in that order.
Masters and Johnson in their classic work Human Sexual Inadequacy stated “Fear of inadequacy is the greatest known deterrent to effective sexual functioning”. Technological advancements in the field of medicine in the post Masters and Johnson era have found that physical causes have an equally important role in the causation of sexual problems. Sex is an experience in which a person has to lose himself in the pleasurable sensations. In other words he/she has to be subjective. Instead, if one becomes objective they start looking at their own performance, losing the ability to experience the pleasure of sex. Thus they become their own spectators. Masters and Johnson termed this the “spectator role”. The man/woman instead of performing start observing themselves and their genitals and start evaluating their sexual capacity rather than fusing with each other. Thus, the fear of a problem becomes a problem itself. Each time a failure occurs the fear increases which in turn affects the sexual response, thus creating a vicious circle. Let yourself go. Focus on enjoyment rather than performance.
The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com
