Bring on the curry! It’s raining cats and dogs in America. By the time you read this I will be in the Land of Looneys and Loomers! The timing couldn’t have been better given the crazy, high-pitched maara maari of America’s November 2024 elections, which has provided so much drama and amusement to the rest of the watching (and pretty disgusted) world. Perhaps for the first time in American history, two presidential candidates have reduced a critical election into a farce, a laugh riot, devoid of any serious issues but the savage desire to win at any cost. As of now, it’s a 31-year-old social media influencer called Laura Loomer who has assumed the most important role in the campaign, being viewed as Donald Trump’s main adviser… and romantic interest! The woman hit global headlines recently when she declared if Kamala Harris wins, the White House will smell of curry. Why not??? Curry is spicy, tongue-tingling and delicious. Nothing Loomer says or does shocks anybody, given her dodgy track record. Her outrageous comments would’ve been dismissed as the rantings of a nut job, had it not been for her proximity to Donald Trump. Despite being banned from several social media platforms for her extreme, offensive and provocative views, Loomer is an unmissable part of Trump’s core group, and travels with him on the campaign trail, making critics wonder about the status of their relationship. If Loomer is indeed Trump’s main squeeze, where does that leave bechari Melania Trump, the First Lady-in-waiting, who has been gayab from the scene?
Loomer’s overnight emergence on the political scene is worth examining. She calls herself an “investigative journalist” (though who knows what she “investigates”) and shoots her mouth off on issues that trigger Americans. Racist, homophobic and Islamophobic, her outrageous claim that 9/11 was an “inside job” has once again drawn attention to the “conspiracy theorists” who believe this to be true. But it was Trump’s bizarre charge against Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio, eating their neighbours’ cats and dogs that, analysts believe, may cost Trump the election — a charge that was inspired by Loomer. Minutes after Trump uttered those words, the meme industry went into overdrive, leading to an avalanche of anti-Trump comments (“Make Pets Safe Again”). Trump was also strongly criticised for not condemning V-P nominee J.D. Vance’s gross outburst against “a bunch of childless cat ladies”, which led to Taylor Swift’s instant and unabashed endorsement of Kamala Harris. “I hate Taylor Swift”, was Trump’s juvenile response. A stupefied world is aghast at this unfiltered, besharam display of deep- rooted misogyny. Trump and Co: shame on you!
Does all this mean Orange Hair will lose? Or are we reading it wrong? I’d go by the latter… maybe we are missing a few key points here. Trump unabashedly appeals to the lowest common denominator. He knows his constituency far better than he’s given credit for. The semi-literate Average Joe sees Trump as a buccaneering, modern-day hero, who believes in basics. His complete lack of sophistication is a huge plus for voters who lack it themselves. He speaks their rough and crude language and manages to convince them he understands their concerns far better than the snooty, uppity East Coast snobs who talk big, flaunt their intellect and floor audiences with hi-falutin’ rhetoric. Even the presence of Loomer by his side is being seen as a positive development: she echoes the sentiments of millions of Americans who are ready to believe the cats and dogs story. Loomer makes Trump look good… makes him appear younger and still in the game at 81… never mind the 50-year age gap — he’s the superhero who can still get the girl! His coy defence of Loomer as a “free spirit” and someone with “strong opinions” has not gone down well with his team. But when did that ever stop Trump? Insinuations about a potential romance between the two has added to Trump’s aura as a strong, virile leader, unafraid of making unconventional choices. Who can say whether or not Loomer is a plant?
I was in the US exactly a year ago, at a time when the presidential race was pretty thanda and predictable, with two old men hurling insults at each other. Suddenly, there is enough masala added to the curry to make the election lip-smackingly delectable, racy and risqué. Loomer has emerged as the biggest game-changer. Unlike what analysts believe, she is Trump’s biggest asset, and anything but a liability. Her controversial presence has sexed up the contest. Now it’s one glam woman (Kamala Harris) pitted against another (Laura Loomer). It’s as if Loomer is the real candidate! By hijacking Trump’s campaign pitch and reducing it to a parody, Loomer has in advertently injected a lot of oomph into the dull, dry political narrative. To keep things on the boil, there’s been a fresh assassination attempt on Trump, with shots fired near his golf course, where the Republican candidate was golfing. Let’s call it a well-timed booster shot for his campaign.
Meanwhile, in apna desh, one popular chief minister has resigned. And one unpopular chief minister has threatened to quit. Arvind Kejriwal wants to go through an “agni pariksha”. He wants to get a “certificate of honesty” from the people? Mad or what? His selfish and egotistical demand that the Delhi elections be held in November and not February 2025 sounds like schoolboyish petulance… unbecoming for a man of his stature. How will this “certificate” be given? Talk sense, Arvind! Just get on with the job. Or let Atishi, the new CM, do it. Enough natak. A cartoon summed it up perfectly: it shows citizens exulting, “We won! He has given in to our demands. He says he’ll resign after five years.” That goes for you, too, Mamata Bannerjee. What an unholy mess you have created in West Bengal! Jaana hai toh jao!
Mumbai bid a tearful adieu to Ganpati Bappa, its favourite deity. This year too, there were a few pandals that stood out for their originality, like the one in Khetwadi, a congested Central Mumbai area. I missed my darshan this year, and am deeply regretting my laziness to venture there after seeing press coverage of the sari-clad Ganpati, dominating the gorgeously decorated pandal. Bappa looking splendorous in a vermillion silk sari, adorned with magnificent jewels, and owning the unique avatar. Gender fluidity in all its glory was proudly on display in the heartland of Mumbai. It made my heart soar with pride!
Till then — hands up — who else is feeling like a “Caged Parrot”???
